Feeding Your Baby (0 to 5months)

So Isaam is growing up way too fast and it is just adorable to see!  Daddy is bringing him new toys every week and mommy keeps putting on bigger shirt sizes on mr. cutie.  Some updates with my son:

-He is now 5 months woohoo!
-Isaam has so far gotten sick 3 times.  2 Fevers and the common cold.  I handled it pretty well.
-He got his 2nd vaccination shots and he is finally getting his energy back after 2 days of mild fever.
-He loves laying on his tummy and watching disney songs.  He struggles to crawl and he can sit with some support.
-Isaam has  discovered his feet and all he does when he lays down is curl up like a ball and bite his feet.  No more sucking hands, it's all about feet now.
-Isaam got his new bed, but he still sleeps with mommy and daddy.
-he has been introduced to mild cereal and potatoes and plum puree.  I feed him 2 tsp with 90ml formula milk.
-After he is done eating I pour in 2 to 3 oz of formula milk and continue feeding him by spoon (since he hates the bottle!).
-he loves water and his vit. D
-he naps for 30min 3 times a day, and sleeps through the night (almost)...feeding him 2 times at night
-he still wants breastmilk like every 2hours... as long as he is getting enough! Nowadays hes so distracted whenever im feeding. Oh, and he just loves looking at us when we are eating!

I am seriously worried about his growth.  The ped said everything is fine but I wonder how things will be when I have low breastmilk supply, since he hates the bottle.  Hope things go fine!

Hairloss after child birth!

Yes I have been warned several months ago, while I was pregnant, that I was going to lose a chunk of hair after I had my baby.  What I didn't know was that the hairloss peaks on the 3.5 to 4 month line.  Seriously, every time I OH SO GENTLY pull out my hairband down comes a huge patch of my hair. For a few days I forgot that this was supposed to happen and started panicking like a maniac.  I was going through a whole "my youth is vanishing" crisis.  Now hubby and the little angel is sleeping and here I am googling passed midnight about postpartum hairloss.  I read that hairloss reaches it's peak around month 4 (isaam is 3.5 months now) and by the time he turns 1 yrs old, my hair will grow out again. Phew! I am calm once again. Thank you.

What to expect after having your baby

Time sure flies! So this post will be all about my wonderful son, Isaam!  He is already 3 months officially an infant!  Let me give some updates from the very beginning.  This might be useful information for future mommies.

After birth, Isaam as a newborn:

As a newborn, being a few days old, I still found everything to be so overwhelming.  All these emotions going on and I was just physically and mentally drained.  First concerns I had was breastfeeding. But before getting used to breastfeeding I had to get used to so many new things about my newborn son.  I tried not to freak out whenever he cried but I just couldn't help it.  But these things really soothed him...

Baby's care:

-Have as much skin-to-skin contact with your baby as possible.  Let him/her hear your heart beat.
-It is recommended that the newborn sleeps with the parents instead of putting them alone right away.
-Unless you have no other choice, it is recommended you breastfeed your newborn fulltime.
-A newborn might have cold (purple) hands and feet.  Totally normal.  Keep in mind that the lil munchkin's system is starting to get used to the real world.
-the baby will twitch frequently during sleep.
-he might spit up bubbles of leftover amniotic fluid.  Don't freak out.
-His first few poop will be dark and tarry.
-Hiys pee might look a bit pinkish.
-His weight will go down a little after his bowl movement.
-His skin will peel dramatically, and breastfeeding will help smoothen the skin faster.
-try gently rubbing drops of breastmilk on highly sensitive and dry areas.
-His nails will be sharp, so make sure you file them.  Use a filer and file downwards not sideways (do nottt cut their nails).
-bathing them once a week for now is enough.  Warm clean water is good.  A small portion of baby oil is optional.
-Newborns are usually hungry all the time so it's normal to feed them all day and night long.  My schedule became a bit steady after 2 months!
-don't overdress your new born.  He needs fresh air too.  Keep the window open for clean air.
-Sometimes a newborn may have tummy problems and gas.  His digestive system is still developing.  Try laying him on his tummy, as long as he is awake.
-Never lay a baby on their tummy when they are sleeping (SID syndrom).
-While feeding, changing, and bathing baby, sing to them or talk to them.
-Try sticking out your tongue to a newborn, see if they react hehe.
-feed your baby ON DEMAND.  So if you just got done feeding him, and he cries for more in less than 5 minutes, then feed him again!
-Take baby out and show him new faces and people.
-expect 8 to 12 feedings per day.
-expect 8-12 diaper changes ;)
-making babies fall asleep requires some work.  Sleepless nights and restless days.
-Their first smile will be priceless.

Just remember that everything will come naturally.  Go with your instincts.  You are the parents so the way you raise your child is all up to you.

New baby, new semester, new things to think about...

So Isaam is no longer a newborn but I still look at him as this little miracle of my life and I guess that feeling will never change but grow as he grows and as I age as a concerned mother.

My Isaam will turn 3 months in a few days..oh how time flies! He has grown and changed so much in these 3 months. Things i've learned and never knew before becoming a mother:

-a baby has to take in so much milk.  I breastfeed fulltime and only now is the schedule becoming a bit stable, but I still have to feed almost every hour.
-a baby's skintone keeps changing so much.  One day he's pink, next day he's red, purple, yellow... you just never know how he'll look next.
-babies grow over night, especially this one!
-sometimes they sleep nonstop other times they never sleep at all...makes you wonder where they get all the energy for moving nonstop, talking or crying.
-Isaam's dimpled smile is priceless

I am still working on getting him used to the bottle.  He just hates formula milk and he despises the bottle.  He would prefer a pacifier over a hideous bottle and he hates both of them.  I don't know how he will survive the days I need to leave him to take my exams.  I have a few days to get him drinking from a bottle.  My class for the new semester starts pretty soon and I have to be there the first day.  I don't know what will happen I need all the luck there is!

Keeping my fingers crossed and trying my best to feed Isaam with a bottle a couple hours a day.

A very overdued post

I apologize I left you hanging! After having my little angel I forgot the world!  First off let me update you guys with the very late but great news.  On May 25th 9:02pm we gave birth to a beautiful healthy boy and we named him Isaam.  My husband was by my side for the entire 15 hours of pain, and together we made this baby come out...a normal birth which I was not expecting!  I seriously thought I needed medications because I was having a hard time picturing myself in labour with no painkillers and making a baby come out from a tiny me.  But that was before I knew what God gave us for inner strenghth as women, as mothers, and now it all makes sense!

I am thankful to have such a smooth pregnancy (after first trimester, that is), and having no pain at all even when my water broke unexpectedly... I will never forget the contractions I went through the entire night...the night before Isaam was born.. I hated the feeling, something that is very hard to explain.  The labour pains were unbearable but I was somehow tolerant.  To some it all up, it was an amazing experience.  At the end, it was all worth it.  I never knew were would get this emotional during the entire process.  The best part was, I had all the support from my amazing husband.  I was able to hold my baby right after he came out, and breastfed him right away.  Both my in-laws and parents were there to see their beautiful grandson.

Moments I will never forget from that day:

-When we called Södrasjukhus after I started getting the REAL contractions, and the midwives on the phone did not believe us and wanted me to stay home.
-The warm bath I took after arriving to the hospital and getting our private room.  My husband helping me the entire time.
- the 2 times I threw up from feeling so damn sick.  I was NOT expecting that.
-I thought the water breaking meant it would come out and then its over.  I did NOT know that water will continuously be coming out until the baby was born!
-How we tried all sort of things to ease the pain during my contractions and PUSHES (bouncy ball, resting elbows while standing, squatting, laying sideways (which was the final delivery position).
-I will never forget how my husband helped me.  Without him it would not have been possible!
-The time when it was a couple hours until Isaam would arrive, and the midwife made me feel my babys HEAD making its way out (thats when i started pushing with all my willpower).
-I will never forget my last pushes, the hardest and most painful, unforgettable ones, the ones wear I held and squeezed my husband tight and just had to stare into his eyes so I wont lose myself while I was screaming and breathing like a maniac.  (I sometimes wonder how he stayed so strong?)
-The moment when the midwives were taking Isaam out, the face my husband made while he was so awestruck and emotional...His voice breaking down to say that "you did it" ....priceless
-The moment right after that, when I did not see him yet, but heard him let out a small cry...tears..
-Congratulations it's a boy... when I saw my Isaam...the midwife giving me my angel to hold close to my heart...while my husband was cutting the cord.
-Isaam's first smile, first dimples, minutes after birth, him smiling while daddy held him.
-The afterbirth thing coming out from my body..yuck... thats something hard to forget.. ehh... but i was trying to picture my baby in there... he was in that thing for 9 months!

I was due a day before my due date... the day before mother's day.  Having him was the best mother's day gift in the world.  God bless....

There is so much to say about this little miracle who is growing so fast!  First baby...so many things to learn as parents! I will keep you updated this time!

Pregnancy Week 40 - can't take it anymore...

Week 40 started out with very painful contractions at 2am, and yes this time I know for sure that these are contractions!  I felt extreme pressure and pain on my lower back and abdomin, as well as my pelvic bones and I kept breathing hard trying to ease the pain... I could not lay down or sit or move it was continuous pain.  Felt like extremely horrible period cramps in a way, with added pressure.  I went to the bathroom about 5 times! I have no idea if these contractions were coming after 5minutes or not all I felt was continuous pain, sometimes the pain would intensify for a minute or two and then go back to normal (pain).  I am still in pain, except this time it's not so bad as it was last night.  I also felt something warm coming out last night...maybe it's the mucous plug, sorry TMI but what the hell I have a feeling that I will be going into labour soon! If the pain emerges again I am calling the doctor.  I am due in 5 days, my parents are arriving in stockholm tomorrow morning, and I have no idea about the rest.  I am just ready to push him out! 

Pregnancy Week 39: Contractions I guess?

Here I am at the end of week 39 and I am just sitting here going with the flow.  Everything is so calm, even my baby is calm.  I mean, he moves all day and I can definitely feel his head and stuff, but movement is just different.  He was like this even during my last midwife appointment a week and a half ago and the midwife checked on him saying everything was normal.  So this waiting process is driving me nuts! And I thought I was impatient during first trimester!  Why are things so calm?  Not that I want it to go crazy just yet... but I keep thinking about the significant quiet moment nature presents, when everything is still, the wind stops blowing, birds become silent, and suddenly that great tornado approaches, does it's job and you finally realize how important life is to you.

I have no idea what to expect! I just can't wait to hold my baby...but at the same time, I am a nervous wreck. My life is going to change I feel it.  First-time-mommy and even though I am ready as ever, I am starting to realize that things won't always be centered around ME anymore.  I won't let it happen.  Motherhood is taking over me and it's a wonderful feeling already.

What's going on with my body...

All I hear pregnant women say is they get early contractions with uneven intervals and I have no idea what they talk about.  How am I supposed to know what a contraction feels like??? I feel stupid even asking myself this.  I know all women just kinda know...just like how they knew the time they had their first period? (and I thought I was dieing).

For the past 3 days I've been having light menstrual-like cramps in the morning.  It would start around the same time at 6 or 7am and go away after half an hour.  It just comes and goes and no it does not come every 5 minutes.  So I guess this is what you call early contractions?  A sign that labour is close... I'm calm...how am I calm????? Will I stay calm when it's actually TIME? I have no idea...   

Pregnancy Week 38 - waiting begins....

This week I had a hard time moving around and especially getting up after sitting for a long period of time.  It's a pain doing the dishes or cooking with a bump that sticks so far out.  Going down a hill can even be a bit risky.  I think I felt a few minor contractions this week.  Nothing big.

Baby is lower so I don't have heartburn anymore and I can finally breath.  Aside from having a hard time changing sides, I sleep better.

In school we have just started our new subject on human anatomy and physiology.  Basically it's all review for me, accept I have to swedify my brain and substitute some words here and there.  Happy I took latin in college.  Sure is coming to use now.

I'm loving our new apartment.  I try to keep it squeaky clean and fresh all the time.  Still need to get used to the quiet atmosphere with just me and hubby in the house.  But it won't be so quiet soon enough...baby's on the way!

So much happening next week! I have my last appointment with my midwife.  A practical the day after, and the day after that my parents will be coming to Sweden! I am so excited!

I gained a total of 12 kg and I didn't have to buy any maternity clothes.  No more space for clothes in the house!  I've been eating everything.  My appetite just keeps increasing, I wonder what will happen after birth.

My little baby can't jump around much since he has taken up all the space in my little womb.  He moves around all day with his tiny little legs.  I feel him and he never makes me feel uncomfortable.  I don't mind if he decides to stay another 2 weeks.  As long as he's fine...

Pregnancy Week 37: What's in a name...

A lot happened this week.  First off, I had a written exam which I thought was one of the hardest exams I've ever taken for this semester.  I suck at written tests in english so I don't even know what I did last thursday afternoon, scribbling page after page in swedish.  I'm worried.  Then I was busy with packing and unpacking, moving things to the new apartment.  At this point, getting up after sitting for just 5 minutes feels tiring let alone cleaning up the apartment.  It takes time to get adjusted to a new place and actually making it a home.  Shopping for the new home will never end.  There are so many small things we still need.  The main stuff is over with, now it's all about decorating.  We finally invited hubby's entire family to the new place and took a short walk around the area over the weekend. Now let's talk about the new family member we are all waiting for patiently.

Dear Baby,

Now that you are considered full-term, ready to make your entrance into this world, mommy has decided to give you your name.  We have been thinking and thinking for the name that would suit you best for the past 6 months but it's so hard you know.  If there's something I like, dad doesn't, and vice versa.  This name is something everybody seems to agree with, and most importantly, it feels like it's best suited for you.

The name is of Arabic origin, and it's basic meaning is "safegaurd", "pledge", "protecting" which all link to a meaningful individual who carry the qualities of honesty, bravery, and modesty.  I pray that you grow up to be a trustworthy person who will always offer protection.  A person who can handle himself and others with care.  And ofcourse, I don't want anybody screwing with your name.  So I tried to find a simple yet meaningful name for you in which everybody in the world will be able to pronounce.  So here it is...

Isaam.  Isaam Feroz. Hopefully we will finally get to hold you in 3 weeks.  Mommy is very close to losing patience! My dear Isaam.  See you soon...InshaaAllah. 

Some Swedish Medical Terminology

This will be my personal list of healthcare-related words since I have a hard time remembering what certain terms are called in swedish, most of them which I have trouble finding relevance in. If I don't know these words while working, I'll be in big trouble.

From earlier post:

• insöndring - secretion
• kärl - vessel
• motstånd - resistance
• hjärtats slagvolym - volume of blood being pumped per minute
• att häma - to inhibit
• prestationsförmåga - performance
• blekhet - paleness
• att förebygga - to prevent
• att lindra - relieve 
• blodpropp - blodclots
• vadmuskelatur - calf

New words: 

• leder - joints
• bentättheten  - bone density
• bindväven - connective tissue
• ledkapsel - joint capsule
• översträckning - hyperextension
• felställningar - deformities
• kalium - potassium
• urinblåsa - bladder
• tyngdkraften - force of gravity
• kväve - nitrogen
• proteinnedbrytning - protein degredation
• bäcken - basin
• njur - kidney
• magtermkanalen - gastrointestinal tract

Pregnancy week 36: being thankful

Week 36 has come to an end and my body tells me that before I even consciously use my brain.  My body has done a pretty good job reminding me every monday, starting from week 5, that it's time to start a new week.  Symptoms like nausea, headache, and increased heart rate lets me know I'm another step closer till the end of pregnancy. Some special signs today were: horrible lower backpain, minor period-like cramps, more pressure below, feeling like my bump is dropping, actually sensing where baby's head is.  I have the worst stretch marks in the world, but it's ok. It was meant to happen no matter how much oil or lotion I applied.  I am still happy with my body.

It's a great feeling when you realize you made it through this far and your baby reached fullterm. His lungs are still developing, but he is just about ready to come out into this world. This all seems like a miracle. The concept of embryology, and the fact that I am carrying this growing miracle for almost 9 months.  I am content.

 This whole process of pregnancy helped me improve my confidence in a whole different level.  I realized how the society has this distorted image of an ideal woman, and sadly we try to follow it.  We try to impress others before satisfying ourselves, and we let other people's thoughtless comments influence our mind and body. Why? Before you want others to appreciate you, please begin with appreciating yourself.

Some pregnant women have huge bumps, others don't. Some gain over 30 pounds, others gain 20 or less.  Some glow others breakout, some change, some don't.  These things are out of our control, and it's efficient enough to hear the facts from our practitioners and midwives about what is good or bad for us.  The rest of the things you hear are just for the sake of an ongoing conversation.  "Honey you're supposed to gain more weight when you're pregnant" and several other classic lines are just pointless to even consider.  My advice for mommies and future mommies is just give importance to what your doc and midwife says and go with your instincts.  The rest is just bullshit. Don't stress on it.

I'm thankful for many things.  I am able to do everything normally despite my big bump.  So far I have no complications and the baby is in the right position.  Baby is making it through almost the entire 9 months and he is considered full term now with a regular heartbeat and normal movement. No more throwing up and finally consistent weight gain.  Meanwhile, almost all the main shopping for the new home is done so we are ready to move in.  My first semester in school is almost over now all I need is to pass with a good grade.  Allhamdulillah for everything.  Let my baby come to this world safely, amen.

Pregnancy week 34 and 35 : Time flies!

We have catching up to do! I've been so forgetful these days that my blog posts haven't even been keeping me on track.  I have no idea when week 34 passed, all I remember is going to my midwife a couple of days ago and she told me I just began my 36th week.  I know I totally lost it.  I think I was just really nervous with studies, labor and everything combined.  So much in my mind.  I'll tell you all about it today.  Here's what's been going on in my mind...

My Baby. . 

My little baby's heartbeat just got a bit faster.  He is such an active little boy already, bless him.  When my midwife pressed down to find his head It felt so damn weird! I felt all the pressure.  My midwife had fun measuring my bump.  The shape and size kept changing because the lil one kept on moving his butt and legs from one side to the other.  Every time I'm with a midwife or my husband, he always does that.  It's like he knows whose around him already.  So this is how my little darling is situated...(at this very moment he is hiccupping). 

Pressure in school..

Like I said earlier, to swedes this first semester would be a piece of cake but it's just another story for me.  I spend more than double the time trying to interpret the litterature because some words are still foreign to me.  To add on to that, I went into a profession where good communication and verbal skills are the key components to getting through with both healthcare providers and patients.  I can't just google translate my litterature, you know.  I've been making a simple list of my own to keep handy, whatever I study.  

Just some common health-related terminology that were quite new to me in the beginning:

• insöndring - secretion
• kärl - vessel
• motstånd - resistance
• hjärtats slagvolym - volume of blood being pumped per minute
• att häma - to inhibit
• prestationsförmåga - performance
• blekhet - paleness
• förebygga- to prevent
• lindra - to relieve 
• ömhet - soreness, tenderness

..and the list goes on. 

I had a practical yesterday covering patient-care and stuff and although the practical went well, I was nervous as hell and I confessed to both of my teachers how overwhelming some of the readings seem to me before I even try to do some sort of tillämpning... what's the word in english damn it....right.. APPLYING KNOWLEDGE.  I tried not to sound like I was complaining, because I am the one responsible for my grades afterall, and they completely understood.  My teacher, the sweetheart that she is, suggested I send her summaries of everything I read so she can get an idea of how much I'm grasping.   

Our new place..

...and the packing continues.  My goodness, I have no idea how I've been able to fit 6 huge loaded suitcases full of just MY clothes in a medium sized wardrobe for the past few years.  The new house's closets are already filled with entirely my clothes, I haven't even packed up hubby's stuff.  Need to do some major rearranging when we are permanantly moving in.  

We finally got our livingroom and bedroom lights and we absolutely love them.  We act like kids when we play around with the remote to change the different kinds of lightsettings.  I am thinking of doing a before and after picture of our apartment once everything is ready.  So far we have all the main furnitures.  What we need now is silverware, plates and bowls, FOOD, entertainment set, and all that... the list goes on.. talk about being broke.  I will think about decorating much later. 

My physical state...

I've been walking frequently, more like wobbling.  I get so tired. Seriously, it feels like I'm carrying a bowling ball.  When I stand for long periods of time my hips kill me and I can hardly move.  I get exhausted in the mornings. It's getting worse nowadays.  I HAVE to lay down for a while when I feel dizzy, which is every morning.  I have to drink lots n lots of water.  That's the only thing that's actually helping me.  Afternoons and evenings are very pleasant.  

My bump looks so brused up with all these stretch marks and that dark linear nigra going down the middle from my belly button, which doesn't even look like a belly button anymore!  

I can eat and eat without ever feeling full.  So far I have gained 10kg throughout the entire pregnancy but I really don't know where the 10 kg is.  It seems like I didn't gain much anywhere with the exception of my bump.  I seriously thought when I would get pregnant my face with blow up and get round.  Every pregnancy is different though, so who knows, maybe next time it will be different.  But for now I'm praying that my first little prince makes it to the world safely.  We are all so excited to see him!

Pregnancy Week 33: New keys to our new home!

I will be honest. I just started my 34th week and here I am sitting and breathlessly writing about week 33. 
My baby got bigger I can feel it and so can anybody who touches my belly.  Although it may not look so big compared to other 8-month bumps, it is pretty hard and you can actually feel wear his back or knees are.  This means I get absolutely no sleep at all.  Ok, maybe 5min naps through the entire night, with some crazy dreams.  I can't sit because my bump got lower! I still like to eat a lot.  I still feel drousy in the mornings and if I don't lay down for a while in a cool place I would most probably faint. That, however did not happen the day I went all the way to my school campus to do some practical nursing exercises.

If I wasn't so pregnant I really would have enjoyed it.  Really.  Because we actually did hands-on stuff as healthcare providers.  Every time I did a simple patient-to-nurse exercise, it felt like I ran a mile.  I will tell you why I felt so tired.  This practical took place in the middle of nowhere.  I had to take the train from the central station in Stockholm.  So it took me more than 2 hours to just get there.  My practical was 9 hours long.  Yeah, there goes my day.  I woke up at 5am, or more like "getting up" since I couldnt sleep all night.  I came back at 6:30pm, but the highlight of my day was coming back to open the door to our new apartment!  Apparently this was the same day we had gotten our house keys!

I can't get over how warm and welcoming I already feel seeing our apartment finished.  We haven't moved in yet.  We are still waiting for some furniture and stuff.  And i really need to get rid of some old clothes that will never ever fit me again.  Clothes are actually the only thing we really have to take with us.  We don't have much moving to do.  Hubby has been ordering everything brand new so just imagine how broke we are becoming.

I'm a bit worried about this cold flu that have been going around in Stockholm.  Already 2 in the house got sick...4 to go.  I thought I caught the cold last week but seemed to have recovered with 2 days.  I don't think that was the real thing.  But I really don't want to get sick while im pregnant.  Especially NOW.

Let's see what my midwife says next week.  My stretch marks really suck.  I don't think they'll ever go away.

By the way, I've been thinking of a name for my lil one.  We came up with one and we think this time this just might be the right one.  Stay tuned will update next week!  

Pregnancy Week 32: Is it really happening?

This week made me realize how pregnant I really am.  The earlier weeks were just focused on the bump and stuff but THIS specific week made me wake up from my little lala land.  Wake up Tani, you won't be pregnant forever, and that baby will eventually come out and your life will change forever.  You know?

My husband and I, along with other new parents, went to this informative 4-hour long session guided by a midwife, about childbirth, breastfeeding, newborn care and all that fun stuff (i hope you grasp my sarcasm here).  Although I've seen many kinds of childbirth videos before, the one that was shown to us that day freaked the hell out of me.  Was it because it finally hit me? The fact that I will be doing the same thing next month????  And I got extra teary when I saw a newborn coming out of a mommy's womb.  No seriously, my throat felt thick and I chocked.  I was never this emotional before! Hubby's face lit up whenever he saw a baby's face in the videos we watched.  I can't wait till we get to carry our own.  I really don't know what we're going to do with the little munchkin.  He will be so spoiled.

We started signing up for these free gift packets online for first-time parents.  Hey, how can you say no to free goodies? So we picked up our first babybox at a baby store nearby.  The quantity wasn't much, but it was a good headstart to prepare myself for the future.  Diapers, babywipes, shampoos, towels and so on.

How am I feeling?

Really tired.  The bump got heavier and lowered a few inches and I can feel the pressure.  Can not sit properly because I feel like exploding.

I bent down and even squatted a few times to get something and I regret ever doing that again.  My knee is killing me. So is my back.

In the mornings, I feel extra dizzy.  My heartrate shoots up.  I mean, it has always been higher than usual, but ever since 2nd trimester it has gone up crazy high in the mornings. I always have to lean or laydown somewhere to prevent myself from fainting.  Never felt this way before.

My belly itches so damn much.  It is very irritating.  Lotion or oil does not help at all.  Nowadays, I can't even feel the center of my bump.  Skin cells got numb or something, I don't know.  I guess it stretched out and swelled way too much.

I can't believe it's happening.  I am due next month this is just too freaky.  I miss my old body.  I can't wait to hold my baby and actually be able to move normally.  His knee is always sticking out on the left side of my bump.

I'm just tired.

Pregnancy Week 31 - can't sleep, can't sit or stand for too long

I had to reschedule a time with my midwife since I've been so forgetful these days.  My appointment was ofcourse 2 weeks too late, but at least I finally got to see my new midwife again (2nd visit).

Last time I visited her, she measured me and listened to his heartbeat and stuff.  She did the same this week.  As of the first appointment, my iron level was too low so she increased my dosage to 2 tablets (100mg each) a day.  Well, after 5 weeks, my iron level improved a bit, but she still recommends me to take 2 iron tablets a day.  I still have normal sugar level, free from diabetes and very low blood pressure (90/60) which might be why I feel dizzy every morning.  I've gained 3 more kg since the last visit (gaining a pound a week) and my bump, although it seems huge to me, has only increased a few centimeters, now at 35cm I think.  My midwife says the size may also vary depending on how the baby is positioned inside.  Little guy's heartbeat is still the same, around 157.

How exactly is baby right now? 

He is getting ready for to get out in less than 2 months, so he's upside down!  My midwife was saying how my skinny self is so easy for her to locate where my baby is.  Some people think something is seriously wrong with me since I don't look fat, and the only thing that's growing is my belly.  But hey, as long as my midwife says I'm doing fine, I really don't care what others say, 'cause trust me, I am eating eating eating...i love food!  So when some kind of weird little minibump stuck out of my belly I just had to ask what was sticking out!  She was saying that was his tiny little knee.  Then we felt his cute little back, and then finally, the part that freaked me out, where his head was located! My goodness so close to the way out! Shit! Sorry...it's just amazing when I think about it.  A human being inside another human being.  

How am I feeling so far?

I feel restless.  I can't sleep.  I get leg cramps at night, and pressure against my bladder, my pelvic area.  I feel him trying to fit in my tiny self, pushing the hip bones, as freaky as that sounds, that's exactly what's going on.  Changing sides while sleeping is a pain!  Extra pillows aren't helping very much.  

My back is really killing me now.  I have lower back pain, the bone seriously stings.  I have to sit or stand up slowly and carefully..I feel so old already.  

There's something I've been thinking about.  I think pregnant women shouldn't be too health-conscious.  They all just need to relax as much as they are able to, because the entire process can be so challenging.  During my first and 2nd trimesters I was so conscious about eating iron-rich foods but oh look at me, I'm stuck with iron tablets.  I've been eating sweets like crazy but my sugar level is just fine.  I'm not saying eat unhealthy, just take it easy.  Enjoy whatever you eat, and if you crave for something go ahead and take advantage of your cravings during this wonderful time of your life.  Give your body a break! What's meant to happen will happen no matter what you do.  

Looking forward to week 32... "first-time parents" session.  

Art of the Day - Sunset

That time of the day when most of us call it a day and start heading home, just like the birds, going back to their nests.

Everything lets out a different glow during this ephemeral moment.  Things just appear more...beautiful.

I get amazed by all the vibrant colors nature spills out during sunset.  We get to see it every day, yet we forget to appreciate the beauty of it.  

Pregnancy Week 30 - and I lost track again

Week 30 flew. I don't even remember what happened this week.  I've been doing so much reading on nursing that I got carried away and forgot all about my appointment with the midwife, which was 2 weeks ago.  Yup.  I totally lost it.  This isn't the first time I have been so forgetful.  I had to reschedule.  At least I remember to take my iron tablets on time.  I seriously don't know where my mind has been these days!

Something that made me smile this week...

I had another meeting with my group earlier during the week, and one of my group members just had her newborn little boy 3 weeks ago.  She couldn't find anybody to look after him so she had to bring him along that day.  We all got to see the little guy.  He was barely 3 weeks and my goodness, my heart was flooded with warmth when I saw that angel.  I don't quite remember when I last saw a newborn up close.  And considering that, InshaaAllah, I will soon be holding one of my own, I just couldn't stop staring at him.  I really look up to the mommy.  We're about the same age and she is managing to take care of her newborn AND her other 1.5 year old son, all while she's studying.  The best part was when she suited her lil munchkin up before heading out in windy stockholm.  So tiny, light, cushiony, and absolutely to die for!

I wonder how mine will be.
Will he sleep all the time? Will he cry a lot? Be hungry often? Smile? Will I be able to burp him the right way?  I really don't know what to expect! I'm so used to having him in my womb now...it's hard to picture what I will be doing when he's a newborn.  I think of the times when  he will turn 1...2...5..even teenager...but a newborn...newborns are soooo delicate... I don't know what to expect! I'm excited yet nervous...

As a Pregnant Nursing Student at 29-weeks...in Sweden

How I feel as a student...

In the past I always wondered how pregnant mommies managed to study. I always thought it was impossible to focus on school work once you have a little somebody inside of you poking you all day.  But nothing is impossible, really.  We like making everything such a big deal.  Well, I always did.

I am half-way done with my first semester as a nursing student.  If I were a swedish, I would say the first half was a breeze, but unfortunately I don't feel the same as my other classmates.  Wish I did, though.  Every time we have those online seminars for our course, I feel so exhausted.

Now I think of that one summer when I took organic chemistry with this Latino girl back in the US.  English was her second language.  She never sounded stupid speaking english, but she felt way more comfortable expressing herself in Spanish.  Doing papers in Spanish...calculating in spanish..thinking in spanish.  Some students in my lab would get so frustrated working with her in a group project.  There were certain theories she would take in the wrong way, confusing everyone, even the professor.  Everybody doubted her.  Yet this girl got through it.  She actually did better than all of us towards the end of the summer.  All that struggling in lab paid off afterall.  I'm hoping mine would pay off, too.

How I feel pregnant...

I'm feeling good about my pregnancy so far, with the exception of lower backpain during the day and leg cramps during the middle of the night.  My bump looks SO weird when I get up in the morning.  All lopsided.  And my bellybutton is a total outy, yet it goes back in at certain times of the day...what I mean to say is, my little guy grew more than 13inches and I can see that when he moves around all day, making my bump change shape every minute!

Cravings this week:  I went crazy for anything beefy.  What's wrong with me?  I used to hate meaty stuff at first trimester and look at me now.  Bangali style beef curry makes my day, now.  Talk about unpredictable hormones.

I'll tell you what else pregnancy has done to me.  I have stretch marks.  Yup.  Scarred for life.  But I'm kinda proud of my marks.  My mommy marks.  There is a beauty in everything a woman gets, even her stretch marks from pregnancy.

A Summer Event Not to Miss!

Is it just me or are we just about ready to leave this nasty winter behind???  One thing everybody loves about Stockholm are those beautiful bright nights in the summer, and what better way to make this year’s summer hot than by welcoming Dosti.se  with their fabulous event right in the heart of the city? 

Who are they?

The Dosti Team organizes entertaining Desi events for busy professionals ranging from ages 20-40 living in Sweden, Denmark, and Norway. The whole point with these events is to just feel good!  It’s as simple as that.  Chill out and take time out of your busy life and meet people who share similar backgrounds as you.  After all, the word dosti (in Urdu, Hindi, Bangla, Persian, and Turkish, etc.) means friendship.  Nothing boring about it. It’s a great way of networking!

Their previous desi event took place in the city of Gothenburg, Sweden on May 28^th, 2011. 

Check out Dosti.se to know more about them as well as their upcoming events.  You can also listen to their interview done by the national radio stations P3 and P4, and even Expressen.

What’s happening this summer in Stockholm???

Desi Summer Mingle and Stand-up Comedy

The event will take place on the 1^st of June under the dazzling city’s beautiful summer night at Södra Teatern.  Fabulous view of Stockholm, great upbeat music, Desi mingle, exclusive club and bar (non-alcoholic and alcoholic) and stand-up comedy by a secret comedian well known from ‘Norra Brunn’, ‘RAW comedy’ and ‘Moa Svan med gäster’  – lots of fun, so don’t miss out! Oh yeah, tickets will be prepaid so no queue! Those who want to stay on are welcome to boogie the night away at Club Outernational – FREE entry for Desi Summer Mingle Guests!

Date:  1^st June 2013

Place:  Södra Teatern

Stockholm’s oldest theatre built in 1859, where music and entertainment from all around the  world have been appreciated for years. It has 7 stages, 5 bars, 3 terraces and 2 restaurants. 

The Desi Summer Mingle will take place on the top floor, “Sjuan”, with the highest public terrace and available bar serving both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.

Station: Slussen or Medborgarplatsen.

Time:  Early Night event -The Stand-up Comedy and Mingle:  18:00-22:00

Late Night event - The after-party at Club Outernational (free entry for Desi Summer Mingle     guests)- located a few floors down: 22:00-1:00

Dining:  Make yourselves comfortable before the event with wonderful dining Södra Teatern provided at Etablissemanget. For more information go to: http://www.sodrateatern.com/en/Eat--Drink/

Tickets:  150kr. Age 20+ with ID. Tickets are very limited! Stay up to date about the ticket release by signing up for the newsletter at www.dosti.se or joining www.facebook.com/dostisweden

Please note that NO TICKETS WILL BE AVAILABLE AT THE DOOR.

Hurry and get them now!

For more information contact: info@dosti.se

Like their Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/dostisweden

And sign up to their newsletter at www.dosti.se

Step-by-step in Sweden : 2013 update

I just wanted to remind myself about what I have planned for the future in this beautiful country, which at rare times, still seem foreign to me.  I had this simple little to-do list that I created to get myself together, but instead, it just made things worse, since I failed to do half the stuff.  I was just looking over the depressing to-do list right now.

So here was the list to survive in Sweden:

1. Get a Job - I worked during the holiday in December while I was just 4 months pregnant.  My first 4 months of pregnancy was a nightmare.  Ehh, I'm just happy I worked at the post office sorting christmas cards and frequently running to the bathroom to throw up.  It was way better than working at a restaurant.  Thank god that didn't happen!  I will be working again hopefully this December!  Can't in the summer since I will be spending lots of time with my precious little sweetheart whose supposed to be due on May 26th!  
2. Get a Profession - I plan on finishing school here, finally. I plan on being a midwife in the future and oh how challenging it has already been! And the luck that I have, the university decided very recently to convert their ENGLISH textbooks into SWEDISH books.  Doesn't that make life easier?  I find it hard to do excessive textbook-reading in swedish at times.  Just at times.  Oh, and let's not even talk about writing final papers.  
3. Get a Swedish driving license - Not until I have my baby.  I will push that off to next year.  Or maybe the end of this year.  Screw driving here.  I don't see what's so special about it here anymore.  Driving instructors just make me nervous and not make me feel like myself.  I've had pretty good experience in driving and I know pretty well that I am no where near aggressive.
4. Change my last name  - Once baby is born I guess.  

Financial situation

One thing I like about this country is that despite the high taxes and high prices for food, clothing, living, pretty much everything, it's actually hard to be poor in this country.  They will always provide you with support based on your needs.  

My long-term goal is to settle here with simplicity.  Right now, I have no income, but I hope to never have an empty bank account.  Thanks to temporary employments, and CSN money I get for education, I am not totally broke.  I have no excuse to be broke.  I should be getting "barn bidrag" once I have the baby, which is wonderful.  I find shopping for overpriced clothes and movie tickets a waste of money.  Even eating out.  I suck at being cheap though, so I limit myself from going out unless it's completely neccessary.  

I need to continue being patient, and minimize my expenses.  So it's time I start saving for those "big dreams".  Yes, it is possible to save even if you don't have income.  

Pregnancy Week 28 - Hello 3rd trimester!

Dear Baby,
Yes, I know, you must think we're bad parents already since we haven't found you a name yet, but really, we are looking for the "best" one that fits only for you.  After all, you are not some character in one of my lame stories.  You will be called this name for the rest of your life.  Besides, everytime your daddy and I start listing these boy names, you never seem to respond, little guy.  What's up with that?  Do you not like any of the names we have come up with so far? Your daddy truely believes that the "right" name will be the one that  YOU respond to by giving him a high five...while you're in my tummy.  Crazy talk right? Yeah, that's your dad.

You started growing more I think.  I really feel the pressure when you move all day!  My tummy is stretching for you!  I feel heavier too...not 'cause I gained weight, but because of you weighing about 2.5 Ibs already, MashAllah.

This week your head got bigger, due to your wonderful growing brain.  I know you will be one very intelligent person.  You'll make mommy daddy proud one day.  Nah, you already make us proud...just make sure you do whatever your heart tells you to do.  Whatever makes you happy will make us happy.  

By the way, your head, or something, kicked my stomach way too many times yesterday!  I had really bad tummy aches the entire day and did not feel like studying at all!  Looks like I have to make up for that today.

Mommy has been eating a little of everything.  Mostly daal (lentil soup) with rice for lunch and dinner.  Surprisingly a lot of fish and fish oil (something I used to hate when I was a child).  Spicy food is back!  As for sweets, I still crave chocolate chip cookies and ice cream.  Eating fruits and lots of water, dairy products and so on.  Still on iron tablets (twice a day, now that my iron level got low).  Oh yeah, and lots of green veggies.

So a good friend of mine reminded me about something very important during this time of pregnancy.  To do extra prayers for my baby.  Now that I'm on 3rd trimester, I can't thank Allah enough for keeping both me and my baby in good health.  I only pray that it continues to be this way and that I get a healthy child who will come safely into this world.  

Pregnancy Week 27 - Back pain! And it's hot in here!

I am experiencing lower back pain.  It's a pain I tell ya! Oh, and those cute little baby kicks just turned into stronger karate kicks! It can be so uncomfortable when I'm sitting down, and I suddenly feel pressure on my ribs and pelvic area! No I'm not exaggerating.  It's also very uncomfortable sneezing and coughing.  Can't stand, lay down, or sit for too long, but walking feels good right now.  Even though I look like I'm wobbling, it's about the only thing that makes me feel better.  Walking in soon-to-be-spring Stockholm.  I still can't believe it snows sometimes! Anyway, I hear a few birdies tweeting around 5pm every crispy clear evening, so that should mean something.

Also, I just can't stop eating! There's always some how space for food even when I eat up a full plate.  Yup...that's how my 6 months ends.  Me pigging out and not gaining a single kg.  I have a very weird body!

I forgot to mention how I feel extremely hot wherever I go! I get hot flashes frequently now...and it's not even spring! What's going to happen 3rd trimester?

Pregnancy week 26 - I forgot all about this week

Yes I did! In the beginning of last week I had an appointment with my new midwife, since my original one just had her baby!  Is it just me or does it seem like February is the baby month? I've been hearing so many new birth announcements it's crazy! Bless them all.  I am pretty comfortable with my new midwife, she's cool.  Hopefully I will be in her place in the near future, talking to pregnant women while seeing the joy and anxiety in their faces as each month passes by. So here is what happened this week.

I got to hear my precious little munchkin's heartbeat last monday! Around 148.  Hubby missed it this time! He had work and I had no idea about hearing those fast thumps!  I remember when we went for the ultrasound back in January, my husband was all fascinated SEEING the heart thump twice as fast as ours.  He would have loved to actually HEAR it this time.  Even though I feel baby moving and kicking all day and night long, I got all emotional just hearing his heartbeat and started thinking how incredible it was that I'm carrying a little human being who grows every week.  I wonder where my stomach is??????? My bump is very hard now! I feel the baby taking up my entire midsection, and yes, by now I can tell where his head is...I can feel his little head sticking out just by placing my hand on my tummy.  My little angel!

So my midwife also took my blood to see if everythings fine.  The result is, my iron level dropped a bit more than before, which means my iron tablet dosage must be increased.  From once a day to twice.  So I had low iron level all this time.  No wonder I almost fainted a few times this year.  I always felt so weak.  A week has passed since I've increased the dosage and now I hardly feel dizzy.  I still have very low pressure.

She also measured my bump and she estimated that the baby sac is about 23cm.

I also had to book these new times for group sessions.  My husband and I will be attending those.  I guess they will introduce us to "labour stuff".  Oh, and whether I want epidural or not. My mom and mother-in-law had natural birth when they had us, but I don't know whether I can handle that.  I have a feeling I will be asking for the epidural when I go into labor.  I am so sensitive from my tummy down, it's insane.  I can't even handle a nice foot massage because I am weirdly ticklish on my feet, and knees.  Let's not even talk about going into labour!  Time will show everything.  Don't want to stress about that part now.  I've had enough first trimester!  Let me enjoy my last week of 2nd trimester! (So far the BEST trimester).

I craved...

Kebabs.  For you people living in Stockholm, I'm talking about that gigantic plate in Årsta they fillup with kebabs, frenchfries, and salad.  Love homemade paratas.  Had a bunch in the weekend.  

I also craved biscuits, but I think I mentioned that last week.  Chocolate cake and apple pie with vanilla ice cream.  Chocolate chip cookies.  I crave anything unhealthy.

I do, however, still love salted juicy ripened extra red tomatoes.  I actually like them more than pickles now!

I eat pretty much everything now.  Yogurt, milk, cheese and eggs are in my daily diet.  I love food.  I'm always hungry.  I don't know where all the food is going.  I gained 1.5 kg within 2 weeks.

Also, my first course for the semester in my nursing program has come to an end.  New course started today.  Time flies!

Exactly 3 more months until due date!

Pregnancy Week 25 - Leg cramps!

Right before this week had ended, I was introduced to those painfully unpleasant cramps.  The first one happened while I was trying to sleep.  It was 5 in the morning, the time my bladder gives me the signal to get up, and all of a sudden I shoot up and start gasping for breath while I moan in pain.  I start getting spasms through my calv and oh my it was a horrible feeling in the darkness.  I scared the crap out of my husband.  He thought I was having contractions or something.  Thanks to him the pain eased  quickly.  Ever since that morning, I haven't really been able to walk as fast, stand on my tippytoes or go up and down the stairs normally.  I've been having minor cramps after that big ugly one.  Yup, it's normal for pregnant women to go through this.  This is something I will not miss.

Week 25 was ok (except for the cramps) and I had this crazy craving for red lobster's cheddar bay biscuits.  Too bad I live across seas.  I don't know what it is with me and junk food! I just love everything greasy.  I ate healthy this week though.  Tried to load on vitamin C and iron rich foods.  I don't think I got enough dairy products though.  I gained another pound.  Now I feel baby's constant movements all over the place from way above my navel to my placenta.  I can't lay down in one position for a long time but there are times when I really have no other choice but to lay down.  A few people felt him kick hard.  It felt like a basketball bouncing inside me, but side ways.  He seems to kick more when daddy feels him.

We are still trying to find the perfect name for our little one.

Pregnancy Week 24 - Hello, month 6!

So week 24 has come to an end and I think my little man grew a bit more and he's trying out all sorts of sleeping positions to make himself all comfy in my little womb.  When mommy moves, he moves.  When mommy tries to sleep, however, he plays around.

Baby's most energetic time of the day is from 10am to 1pm.  He also loves doing his own little soccer training at 9pm.  It certainly feels amazing! My belly button irritates me, though.  It's a total outy!

My overall "high" bump just lowered a few inches.  Now I feel heavier and every time I sneeze it hurts! My bladder tells me to go to the bathroom right when I feel like dozing off.  I have some light headaches during the day, and oh, I feel great eating all the time except for that one morning when I suddenly threw up just eating some toast.  Throwing up while your baby is kicking you is NOT fun.

I have weird hormones.  I don't even know if I should blame my hormones for this or not.  Whenever I get plenty of rest, I get morning sickness.  On the other hand, I feel fine the days I stress about other things and keep myself busy not thinking about baby.  Like that one friday night I pulled an all-nighter for a paper for school.  I was overwhelmed and thought I would never be able to do it, since writing swedish papers still remain a challenge for me, but I got through it and met up with my fellow classmates the next morning (yes a saturday) to do group work.  Baby kicked all night so it was hard to fall asleep anyway!  But I promised myself to never do that again.

So my baby weighs over a pound now! I think he's about 13inches.  From this week on, he will start to fill up with all that yummy baby fat.  His lungs are well-developed so he is practicing breathing before coming out into the real world.

I am worried about writing up my paper!  It would have been much easier if I could do it in english.  Really!  But in the future all of my patients and coworkers will be speaking swedish so I might as well get the hang of it.

Overwhelmed/frustrated at Pregnancy week 23

I just about had it this week. I want to get away from everything. Really.  I feel physically and mentally exhausted. I need to be close to mom or something. I don't know.

Starting school in Sweden...a challenge

My distance program for midwifery school has officially begun.  So it's distant learning, but that doesn't mean you just sit home and cheat off the textbooks on online exams.  It's more like being home yet mentally not.  We have plenty of interactive web conferences and lots of group work.  When it comes to group work, our discussions work best when we meet up somewhere physically. Then we have these obligatory seminars with the entire class and ofcourse the teacher who is usually commuting with us through a webcam in the classroom.  Classes nowadays I tell ya!

This is my first time seeing so much technology being used for classes.  That's when it really feels like 2013.  No more...read the books do your homework and have a popquiz while your teacher roams the lecture room.  The learning style we are introduced to kind of compels you to focus on your studies giving you flexibility at the same time.  A totally New concept for me.

Did I mention it's all in swedish? Another big challenge.  Sometimes I just get confused during discussions and lectures.  Like should I pay attention to the new swedish words or the new concepts of the chapter we are studying?  When I express my thoughts, does it sound the same in swedish as it would in english?  It can be extremely nervewracking!  On the bright side, everybody is terribly nice. They never make me feel like an idiot, even though they sound so professional and experienced already.  I still think being a midwife will be a huge challenge!  It is already kicking my butt.

Just doing regular housework....a challenge

I feel like i have a 20Ib bowling ball is inside me.  I get breathless just cleaning the house, or cooking.  Going out to throw the trash in the snow feels like a job.  Doing groceries (making a damn grocery list) is a pain.  Earlier today, while standing in line at a super market, i suddenly felt so weak, that i almost fainted.  It was the worst feeling.

In-laws are coming back home...want to do something special

But what?? My creativity left me the day i became preggo!

Baby is...

More than a pound.  I think he is about a foot long.  He kicks, flips, turns all day and night long making himself comfortable in my womb.  My sac is the size of a freakin cantaloup.  No wonder I can hardly sleep! I wont lie though, I love those kicks!

Pregnancy week 22

Tomorrow will be my last day of week 22. This time it really flew!

Dear Baby,

Hello my little prince. You have grown so much MashAllah. I don't need an ultrasound to tell me that, because I've been feeling you way too much. Does mommy's movements bug you? What about when daddy keeps aking you what your name's gonna be? Well you sure partied inside last night! I felt hard kicks and thumps on the left the entire night boy! What were you doing?? Well, you haven't stopped doing it, because I still feel you.  You kicked my ipad yesterday.  Today you kicked the big laptop! Here I am sitting by the window all comfy in my pjs watching tv and nodding my head while I see Sweden's clouds give snow again in this cold gloomy winter afternoon.  Ofcourse, when you arrive in this world, everything will change!  Sunshine and flowers day and night!  But nothing will be as bright compared to your angelic little face.

This week you have been fed well. I ate everything from fruits to greasy fastfood.  Variety is good right? I had a thing for german apple pancakes. And frenchfries. No, not at the same time!

I had a little group session taught by my pregnant midwife.  We did some breathing exercises to help relax my stiff body.  Us mommies were so clueless. We watched a breastfeeding video for first-timers.  It was helpful, cute...and kinda funny.  I guess we will all learn with time despite the number of videos we see.

Still haven't found your crib yet....

Those Old Wive's Tales : Gender Predicition

First of all let me make it clear that gender is absolutely the least of my concern when it comes to having a baby.  I just love babies.  Be it boy or girl.  Seeing one makes my day!

Superstitious things never really got to me.  Especially the ones dealing with pregnancy.  I always believed that each woman is made differently and you really can't generalize us all by some tale.  It might come out true for many, even me, but I see that as a simple coincident.  But admit it, you get curious sometimes.  I know I do.  When I began my 2nd trimester, I've heard all kinds of things from different women.  It's fun to hear actually.  Here are the common ones I was told:

1.  If you're carrying low, it's a boy.
     Carrying high, it's a girl.
   
     I am carrying pretty high.

2.  If your bump sticks more up front, it's a boy.
     If it's more wide, it's a girl.

    My bump is sticking straigh up front.

3. If you feel more movement on the left, it's a boy.
    On the right, then it's a girl.

   umm...there's no middle choice? My baby actually jumps all around!

4. Glowing means boy.  Dry hands and cold feet mean boy.
    Skin is breaking out, skintone is darker, hair is dry. Girl.

 I've experienced both.  Except for the glowing part.  I am NOT glowing.

5.  Craving sour and salts? Meaty and greasy food? Boy.
     Got the sweet tooth?  Girl.

     My taste varies day to day.

6.  Morning sickness and more vomiting.  Girl.
    Hardly any vomiting.  Boy.

  Did I tell you about staying in the hospital for my severe vomiting? My morning sickness stopped after        week 20.

7.  Ok this one just made me laugh. If Dad's getting fat it's a boy. I've also heard if he's gaining weight it's a girl.  Seriously, there's no right answer.

I don't think my hubby's weight has anything to do with gender!

I do trust my instincts, though.  Mama's instincts always counts.  I had a feeling what this one's going to be long before I even got pregnant.

Pregnancy Week 21

This week I did not throw up at all! Finally! A week without feeling nauseous.  I thought this day would never come. I feel absolutely great! Well, not perfect, but amazing!

Good things about this week:

My appetite is back! I am craving so many things and I eat and eat whenever I feel hungry which is like every hour!  I prefer savory more than sweets, except after midnight.  That's when I start craving stuff like icecream, milkshakes, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cake and the list goes on.  At the beginning of this week I remember waking up at around 2am with a hungry stomach and a kicking baby, obviously it was impossible to sleep.  So I had no other choice but to go directly to the kitchen and cut a big chunk of warm chocolate cake with 3 spoonfulls of vanilla icecream.  I never felt so good finish that plate! Me all alone in the kitchen table.  I scared my husband while trying to sneak back down to the bed.  It's not so easy being sneaky when you're 21 weeks!

I felt baby kicking...A LOT. Pretty much all day and night.  It's like he's playing soccer inside me or something.  Coolest and weirdest part of the week was actually looking at my belly and seeing his thumps and kicks popping out! Crazy stuff!  Best part of the week was my husband finally getting to feel him kick.  Every night he would just put his ear by my belly to hear the little guy's heartbeat.  Such a wonderful site to see.

Today while I was talking to my mom on skype (I miss her so much!) she showed me all the baby shopping she has done so far.  I really wish I was back home with her! They have the cutest things there! Mom got all these adorable baby outfits and all this time I was thinking there are hardly any cute baby BOY clothes out there.  The "I love mommy" outfit was my favorite!

How big is baby?

A size of a spaghetti squash! I think that's huge.  No wonder my belly looked noticably gigantic!

Physical changes:

My eyes seem bigger.  They were big, but then I got married and gained like 5kg, they somehow got smaller.  Well, my eyes are popping out now.  But it looks weird...to me.  Nails are growing faster, hair is thicker and shinier, bigger bump obviously...still no stretch marks but i know I'll be getting them.  Itchy skin!  Get hot flashes at times and gas issues.  What a pain.  Oh yeah, something else.  This weird creepy thing with my right hand.  I don't think it's related to pregnancy but it happened this week.  I felt and saw some kind of bone sticking out from my hand while I was mashing potatoes!  It didn't hurt, it just felt akward and ahhh....something stuck out! Then went away....Where the hell did that come from?   Anyways...my bellybuttons out.  Three more months until .....omg!  Is this really happening????

Time flies!

Ultrasound appointment! Week 20

Yesterday was our first official ultrasound appointment and It was an unforgettably amazing experience!  I got absolutely no sleep the night before and woke up at 6 walking around the house with an empty stomach.  I was afraid if I ate anything besides crackers I would throw up again!  I was too nervous to even do that!

Finally when my husband and I got there at 11:30am, like 2 very nervous future parents, we sat there impatiently, anxiously waiting for a technician to call my name.  So when a nice lady named Eva finally called us up she took us to that dim comfy room with the magical ultrasound screen and a larger tv projected in front of the bed.  "Let's get started shall we?" Eva said energetically.  So there she went, squeezing a hold bottle of that terribly cold viscous liquid and next thing you know, my dear husband almost jumped up, gasped and squeezed my hand tight when he saw that miracle on the tv! Truely our miracle! My God! We were so silent...as Eva showed us our precious baby...moving...together we counted the little tiny fingers, measured the legs...head...saw the adorable body swing and suck its thumb.  My husband and I could not help but keep staring at it... and so at the end, after closely checking everything, we were so happy to see our baby healthy so far. We were so thankful.  We did however have a tiny bit of curiousity. "Can we find out the sex today?"  Not that it mattered...I just cant wait to shop for my baby's stuff! and name it ofcourse! Hate calling it IT.

Drumroll:  Eva showed us at the very end and it was very clear that we were having a baby boy!

Yes! My baby my little prince! You are said to be due May 26th..but ofcourse, it's all up to you!

Pregnancy week 19

I'm extremely worried.  I have been getting a lot of rest the past couple of days.  Lots of sleep and eating my way through the day, yet I haven't gained a single kg.  what's going on? My mom is trying to calm me down telling me not to worry and actually consider myself lucky.  She was the same way when she was pregnant with me.  My dad, however, is freaking out.  He's saying it's not healthy to stay the same weight that I should at least gain a bit each week, which is true.  I don't know what to think.

On the bright side, my bump has grown noticibly huge during this month.  So I definitely look pregnant (with this week 35-lookin bump) but I am not gaining any weight.  Help! My husband and I will be taking our first trip to the clinic for our very first ultrasound.  I am so nervous.  I've been praying that our baby is healthy.  That's all we care for.  Throwing up every morning might be the reason I'm still stuck at the same weight.  Compared to first trimester, however, I have gained about 4kg total, but I was 4kg underweight at the time.  This is completely out of my control.  I am trying really hard to eat healthy fats and eat and drink a lot but there's only so much I can take in.  At the end of the day I feel like I will explode.  My bellybutton begins to slowly protrude out, but in the morning I see it back in again, and bigger than usual.  My bump is round and hard.  I think baby moved up a bit.  I can feel my little munchkin moving every day.  Before it used to be only at night but now he/she started moving in the mornings too.  I just hope baby is ok.  I pray every day for good health.

This week has been a very calm week.  I've been trying to think of a good baby name but I need to know if it's going to be a boy or a girl.  Before wanting to know any of that, I really want to know if my baby is healthy.  I'm trying my best to take care of this lil one...but it's all up to God.

I will end my week 19 post here.  Tomorrow will be the big day when we get to see baby inside of me.    Fingers are crossed.  I am nervous and excited all at the same time.  Have no idea what to expect and what to ask the doctor! I will keep you guys updated! Talk to ya tomorrow!

Pregnancy week 18

This was the week my in-laws left out of the country to visit Bangladesh so the house feels a bit empty.  Quieter.

I still throw up occasionally in the mornings and have horrible heartburn in the evenings.  Haven't really weighed myself yet but I'm not going to worry about weight right now since I do feel bigger.  I'm trying to stay healthy but sometimes it just feels like I'm not trying hard enough.  Don't know what to expect for next week for the ultrasound.  I hope my baby is doing ok in there.  Sure feels like it!  Before I used to feel light flutters but now those flutters are turning out to be stronger thumps and kicks!  Maybe by next week my husband can finally feel our baby kick!

There was nothing special that happened this week. I just threw up every morning and felt exhausted afterwards!

Food:  it was the most unhealthiest week for me. No wonder i had all that heartburn and vomiting.  I made these juicy extra large burgers for our "Texas longhorn night" and they turned out delicious.  Haven't been touching fruits. Only proteins. I know...im so bad.

Weight gain: still 0. I am very worried. My bump however is growing progressively week by week.  Never seen a bump so big for 4 months!

Pregnancy Week 17

Dear Baby,

you feel like a giant watermelon inside of me, but according to the weekly pregnancy websites you are about the size of a turnip and you weigh 5 ounces.  So it's really hard to blame you for my huge bump that looks more like a week 25 bump.  I still love you.

People are assuming I'm having twins by the size of my belly but I know for sure it's just one.  At least that's what I saw earlier back in week 9.  Your newly developed hands and feet were moving so fast it looked so adorable! I just can't wait to see you in 2 weeks.  I miss seeing your tiny energetic body.  I know it won't be the same this time around though.  You have grown so much over the past several months, baby.  This time your daddy will be seeing you too...for the very first time.  I wonder what's going through his mind...

You've been sending me light flutters here and there you know...Especially during movie nights when I'm with your dad and your 2 crazy uncles. It's a wonderful feeling.  Can't wait to feel you kick!

Now that you have developed ears that are finally in place, you probably hear things...like mommy's voice...the one who giggles a lot and sometimes sings to you...and some other familiar voices.  The loudest one is going to be your daddy's voice! Don't worry, you'll love him!

I have some sad news for you this week.  Your great grandpa passed away yesterday morning in Bangladesh.  May his soul rest in peace.  He would have been so delighted to see you! So mommy has been reciting a lot of duas for your great grandpa lately.  Your grandparents will be leaving for Bangladesh in a couple of days, and they are very heartbroken.  Hopefully when they come back safely, you can be the one to cheer them up and fill their hearts with warmth and joy again.

Your grandparents in the US ask about you every single day.  They are so excited.  They have been having these beautiful dreams about playing with you.  You are the biggest thing they are looking forward to right now.  Their first grandchild.  You will be so special, baby.  Your grandmama already started buying things for you!  You will be one spoiled baby.

To wrap it up, I'm doing just fine thank you.  Just occasional vomiting.  Yup.  Need to throw up at least twice a week.  Other than that I'm good.  I eat normally now, but I have major heartburn. I feel heavier obviously, and my clothes are tight so it's time for me to get some maternity dresses.

Talk to you next week! 

Pregnancy Week 16

Hey lil one,

How are you doing in there? I'm feeling much better and can actually eat normally. Let mommy tell you about her exciting week 16.

I got absolutely no sleep at all this week.  Why? It was my first time working in Sweden. And even though it shouldn't sound like such a big deal since it was just a temporary 5-day thing at the post office, it was still pretty big to me.  I met new people and sorted thousands of christmas cards from all over the country.  6 hours a day from morning to noon sounds like a pretty comfy schedule, until you actually start doing it! It sucks catching the early bus in the dark winter days with snow getting on your way. It's hard to wake up super early just to eat something and leave half an hour early for work. It's a challenge standing for long hours on your feet with endless cards waiting to be sorted. It's a pain running to the bathroom to throw up! Oh yeah, I threw up several times this week, and suffered backpain and morning sickness, headaches...but I also met wonderful people who gave me extra attention when they found out I was pregnant. I could never sleep at night but i would doze off many times on the hour long bus trip back home.

So that was my week.

Oh I left out the most important part. The best part of this week was feeling my little baby at midnight! Baby, you moved so much this week!  I felt every bit of it! I have no idea what you're doin in there but it sure is wonderful timing...right before mama falls asleep!  Is that your way of saying goodnight? Your daddy loves it when you bug mommy like that.  He says you're already taking his side.  Come on, is that really true?

Main Foods I've had:

Rice, chicken breast, egg n cheese sandwiches, salmon, lamb, avocadoes with lemon, cocnut, clementines, bananas, ginger cookies (they are saving my life!), milk, yogurt, the occasional fries and cheeseburgers (my biggest craving)

Weight progress:
I gained 1 kg.  Need  to gain a kg a week since I've lost so much weight.  That's why I'm eating so much avocado and eggs.

Pregnancy Week 15 (2nd trimester)

What a milestone! I made it through the first 3 months and today marks the beginning of my 2nd trimester! I feel absolutely fantastic and I hope baby does too.

Today has been a wonderful day!  I remember in the middle of my first trimester I was craving all these summer fruits that were impossible to find in any grocery store here.  All these exotic tropical fruits.  Well, it's December, snowing like crazy outside and as I walk in the supermarket I see all the fruits I have been craving for weeks all on the same row.  It was so incredibly pleasant to see!  I got my green hard mangoes, litchis, sour starfruits, juicy watermelon, and promegrenate.  I never felt so glad in my life.  Carrying heavy loads of fruits over the snowy hilltops was definitely worth it today. Walking up a hill with a big fat watermelon felt like running a mile afterwards though.  I was breathless!

I went to see my midwife today and she gave me these 2 important papers that I'm suppose to take the day of the delivery.  I finally found out my blood group (A+) and she said all the test results came out normal.  I got my time to do the ultrasound.  That would be one month from now.  Can't wait!  I also found out that my midwife is pregnant! I'm only 3 months and she's like 5 and a half.  Pretty cool.  Her bump sure shows it.

How am I feeling?

Much better than 3 weeks ago.  I have gradually progressed and I finally gained about 1.5kg last week.  So I'm catching up.  I think my frequent intake of fruits and nuts are really helping me recover faster.  I have more energy now.

The part that sucks is even though I eat a lot of fruits with fiber I hardly go to the bathroom except for peeing.  No wonder my tummy is the size of a freakin melon.  It better not be smashing my baby.

Foods I eat..

Let's hope that hyperemesis nightmare doesnt come get me again.  While I was going through so much vomiting the only thing I was able to take in was yogurt and potatoes.  Now the list has improved.

I get my day's portion of protein (eggs, salmon, chicken breast, dried nuts), Fruits n vegetables (I eat a lot of fruits, and mostly greens n carrots for vegies), whole grains and starches , dairy (milk, cheese and low fat yogurt).  I eat every 1.5hours to avoid sickness and i never drink liquid and solids together.  I still have to get into a good habit of drinking more water.

How's baby?

How's my baby? I'm asking myself the same thing.  I really don't know.  I read all these weekly pregnancy sites and thats about as much information I can get.  I know that it can hear now....and eat (through some amniotic sac).  All I know is it's the size of an orange and it feels like it. My waist is much thicker.  I have a slight bump and I bloat like crazy so if you combine my bloaty tummy with the little bump I actually look 4 whole months preggo!  Thanks to gas.

Pregnancy week 14

I was way too happy on the first 2 days of this week.  I sure was! I dropped by to see my midwife who gave me iron tablets and told me hopefully everything will start to get better.  I was obligated to take Primparon today since i am not able to take a single sip of anything by mouth.  Soooo sick of being sick! To top it all off, there is a terrible blizzard outside and I don't think it will stop until we get 2 meters of snow (we already got 1 meter).  Too scared to open the damn door!  I hate this stuffy feeling in the house it just makes me feel worse.  I got this new symptom where I almost faint every morning.

I also heard most who go through hyperemesis are pregnant with a female fetus.  So I will probably have a girl.  Who knows...

When i do have cravings they are usually: cheeseburgers, kfc, sometimes sour fruits, and salty snacks.

Other days I just don't eat anything.  Not even a sip of water...my vomiting gets that bad.  That's why the doctor prescribed me primparon to take anally.  I don't know if it actually works though.  I also read that it poses a risk to the baby especially during 3rd trimester.  I am about to start 2nd trimester and just to be on the safe side, I avoid primparon with the exception of days like today!

Pregnancy week 13

Day 1 of this week really sucked! I threw up the entire day even without eating or drinking anything!  I also had major heartburn the day before.  I guess even if i do crave sour things, I won't be able to eat it, because I really don't want to experience heartburt ever again!

My bump is visible now.  Baby is growing fine I hope. If so, it should be the size of a peach by now.  This week I have been getting the feeling that it's going to be a girl.  Let's see what the doctor says next month!

I am back to a strict diet again.  I can't eat anything too greasy or spicy at all.

Oh help me God! Give me strength to get me through the next 6 months! I can't control my digestive system my goodness it's going psycho on me! Calm it down please! I'm in the middle of week 13 and people are saying sickness is supposed to calm down! It's not! I lost count on how many times i threw up today..and all i took in was a bread, a cookie, and a tiny chicken roll.  Everything came out...water came out...saliva...then all i saw in the toilet was green fluid that I almost choked on! This sucks!  Took my medicine...but i still feel the same! Let me just feel sleepy so i can sleep through this please!!!  Can't I be sleeping beauty for 6 months???? I can't take it anymore, I need healing!

Last day of week 13:  And God answered my prayers! I feel fantastic today.  Woke up early in the morning today without feeling queezy.  I ate breakfast and lunch and so far, as half the day has passed, no sign of vomiting or any kind of sickness!  I can eat a whole steak right now!

I went to see my midwife today and she told me to take iron tablets (niferex) for the time being.  Next appointment will be in a week and she will be able to tell if I still need to be on iron tablets or not.

Hope my baby's fine in there.  I do not look pregnant at all, but guess what? Tomorrow I will start week 14!!!!! Yay! Last week of first trimester. Hmmm...still haven't told the world about this big secret yet....thinking of spreading the good news soon.

Pregnancy week 12 - started to show!

This is day 1 of week 12.  Almost there! I can't wait till I get through first trimester just one more week, yay!

Just when I thought my morning sickness was going away, I started throwing up right after breakfast.  I drank some juice and half an our later there it goes again.  I had lunch and luckily I still kept it down. My throat does however feel kind of funny.  I just don't wanna think about it again.  I have a feeling I will be taking more trips to the bathroom later on this afternoon.

I have so much dizziness it's crazy! Can't get up from sitting down too fast.  Still can't eat anything with oil or any kind of spices...or anything warm.  It just makes me gag.  I'm living off of boiled potatoes.  Still haven't gained back my regular weight.  Baby you're killin' me here! I'm still thankful that my baby's doing great.  My baby has reflexes now!

I'm still not showing obviously, but I sure can feel where it is.  It's amazing to even think about another life being created inside of you. And I pray every day that the lil' one is healthy and safe.

How am I getting through this month? Well I'm looking forward to my next appointment with my midwife on Dec 10th.  That's the day she will give me the date for the ultrasound.  That will be the first day I take my husband with me.  Boy will he be surprised.  The last time I got an ultrasound done at 9 weeks was amazing. Unfortunately my husband couldn't be with me, he was working.  This time will be interesting.  I think that will be the day we get to know whether it's a boy or a girl.  Whatever sex it may be, we just want a healthy baby!

Middle of 12 weeks and I feel pretty good, not to mention, I finally have my bump! My little bump! Yes it is already visible! I can feel where it is my goodness what an amazing feeling...just knowing where it is. So i looked in the mirror and suddenly see the "bump" that i am so obssesed with right now...and i start thinking, hmmm, it seems to be pretty low...so far i look like i am carrying low.  You know what they say about that..."boy baby".  Then again i am breaking out (thanks hormones!) and the glow went away...so they say those signs imply "girl baby".  Don't really want to stick to the old wive's tale...really cant say what the gender is and you know what? I dont care i just want a healthy baby! Yay!

Pregnancy week 11

So week 10 was so far my worst week.  I hope that was the last time I ever need to go to the hospital for so much vomiting.

Week 11 started out horrific.  I woke up on day 2 and started bleeding all of a sudden!  So much went through my mind. Tried to stay calm but come on, after seeing blood the first time earlier this year my positive feelings were flushed down the toilet once I slowly found out I was going to have a miscarriage.  I was praying with my hand on my womb to keep my baby alive this time.    Luckily the bleeding stopped.  I guess it was old blood or something.  I hear that it happens to some pregnant women around this time.  The blood spills out due to the cervix being sensitive.  Anyway...I just don't wanna see blood again!

I didn't throw up this week at all.  I'm still careful with my meals.  Instead of 3 large meals I tend to have 6 small ones a day, keeping myself hydrated between every meal.  I can't drink large gulps of anything, especially water.  Apple juice and potatoes are my best friends! Man, I am so underweight right now.

My baby is supposed to be more than an inch big now.  I wonder whats going on inside.  I feel physical changes and half the time it feels kinda weird...and gross.  Always feeling nauseous, throwing up in the morning, on meds, excess saliva, feeling "wet", do I need to say more????? Then I think about that sweet little angel's face.

Week 10 : my second stay at the hospital

It is said, "knowing about it is not the same as experiencing it yourself." I couldn't agree more.

We all know pregnant women go through all these changes in their body which causes all-day sickness, mood swings, fatigue and so much more, but we really don't get the real deal until we're the ones who become pregnant.

I used to ask my mother, "ammu, how come you never wanted more children?" She would answer saying how I have always been the one special gift to both her and dad. She never wanted to make me feel left out when it came to loving and caring.  "but having more than one child does not mean loving one child more than the other!  At the end, when you get old, you will only regret not having a bigger family," the other mothers would say.  Then my mom would tell me about her long sick days throughout her 9 months. What I never knew was mom had undergone hyperemesis gravidarum.  Something that im suffering from now.  My poor mommy. I feel every inch of her pain now!  I wouldn't wish for this condition on my worst enemy...

Each and every human body responds differently.  Some have it easy, some in the middle, and some just have very bad luck! In this case, I am totally out of luck!

I was recovering from last week until suddenly I had painful stomach aching and diarrhea the entire night! Not to mention, vomiting! All at the same time, minute after minute. It was war.  I hardly had any fluid in me, and whatever bits i had left just all came out! Couldn't even swallow my own saliva.  So i had to get admitted to huddinge again.  More iv, one more day of fasting. ER here I come....

What can I eat?
Nothing. But i finally got to drink one whole glass of water.

How is the baby?
Absolutely fine.  This is my baby's way of letting me know "im growing just fine!" All those organs and organ tissues are developing so quickly.  Just Amazing...