27 January 2013

Pregnancy Week 21

This week I did not throw up at all! Finally! A week without feeling nauseous.  I thought this day would never come. I feel absolutely great! Well, not perfect, but amazing!

Good things about this week:

My appetite is back! I am craving so many things and I eat and eat whenever I feel hungry which is like every hour!  I prefer savory more than sweets, except after midnight.  That's when I start craving stuff like icecream, milkshakes, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cake and the list goes on.  At the beginning of this week I remember waking up at around 2am with a hungry stomach and a kicking baby, obviously it was impossible to sleep.  So I had no other choice but to go directly to the kitchen and cut a big chunk of warm chocolate cake with 3 spoonfulls of vanilla icecream.  I never felt so good finish that plate! Me all alone in the kitchen table.  I scared my husband while trying to sneak back down to the bed.  It's not so easy being sneaky when you're 21 weeks!

I felt baby kicking...A LOT. Pretty much all day and night.  It's like he's playing soccer inside me or something.  Coolest and weirdest part of the week was actually looking at my belly and seeing his thumps and kicks popping out! Crazy stuff!  Best part of the week was my husband finally getting to feel him kick.  Every night he would just put his ear by my belly to hear the little guy's heartbeat.  Such a wonderful site to see.

Today while I was talking to my mom on skype (I miss her so much!) she showed me all the baby shopping she has done so far.  I really wish I was back home with her! They have the cutest things there! Mom got all these adorable baby outfits and all this time I was thinking there are hardly any cute baby BOY clothes out there.  The "I love mommy" outfit was my favorite!

How big is baby?

A size of a spaghetti squash! I think that's huge.  No wonder my belly looked noticably gigantic!

Physical changes:

My eyes seem bigger.  They were big, but then I got married and gained like 5kg, they somehow got smaller.  Well, my eyes are popping out now.  But it looks weird...to me.  Nails are growing faster, hair is thicker and shinier, bigger bump obviously...still no stretch marks but i know I'll be getting them.  Itchy skin!  Get hot flashes at times and gas issues.  What a pain.  Oh yeah, something else.  This weird creepy thing with my right hand.  I don't think it's related to pregnancy but it happened this week.  I felt and saw some kind of bone sticking out from my hand while I was mashing potatoes!  It didn't hurt, it just felt akward and ahhh....something stuck out! Then went away....Where the hell did that come from?   Anyways...my bellybuttons out.  Three more months until .....omg!  Is this really happening????

Time flies!

15 January 2013

Ultrasound appointment! Week 20

Yesterday was our first official ultrasound appointment and It was an unforgettably amazing experience!  I got absolutely no sleep the night before and woke up at 6 walking around the house with an empty stomach.  I was afraid if I ate anything besides crackers I would throw up again!  I was too nervous to even do that!

Finally when my husband and I got there at 11:30am, like 2 very nervous future parents, we sat there impatiently, anxiously waiting for a technician to call my name.  So when a nice lady named Eva finally called us up she took us to that dim comfy room with the magical ultrasound screen and a larger tv projected in front of the bed.  "Let's get started shall we?" Eva said energetically.  So there she went, squeezing a hold bottle of that terribly cold viscous liquid and next thing you know, my dear husband almost jumped up, gasped and squeezed my hand tight when he saw that miracle on the tv! Truely our miracle! My God! We were so silent...as Eva showed us our precious baby...moving...together we counted the little tiny fingers, measured the legs...head...saw the adorable body swing and suck its thumb.  My husband and I could not help but keep staring at it... and so at the end, after closely checking everything, we were so happy to see our baby healthy so far. We were so thankful.  We did however have a tiny bit of curiousity. "Can we find out the sex today?"  Not that it mattered...I just cant wait to shop for my baby's stuff! and name it ofcourse! Hate calling it IT.

Drumroll:  Eva showed us at the very end and it was very clear that we were having a baby boy!

Yes! My baby my little prince! You are said to be due May 26th..but ofcourse, it's all up to you!

13 January 2013

Pregnancy week 19

I'm extremely worried.  I have been getting a lot of rest the past couple of days.  Lots of sleep and eating my way through the day, yet I haven't gained a single kg.  what's going on? My mom is trying to calm me down telling me not to worry and actually consider myself lucky.  She was the same way when she was pregnant with me.  My dad, however, is freaking out.  He's saying it's not healthy to stay the same weight that I should at least gain a bit each week, which is true.  I don't know what to think.

On the bright side, my bump has grown noticibly huge during this month.  So I definitely look pregnant (with this week 35-lookin bump) but I am not gaining any weight.  Help! My husband and I will be taking our first trip to the clinic for our very first ultrasound.  I am so nervous.  I've been praying that our baby is healthy.  That's all we care for.  Throwing up every morning might be the reason I'm still stuck at the same weight.  Compared to first trimester, however, I have gained about 4kg total, but I was 4kg underweight at the time.  This is completely out of my control.  I am trying really hard to eat healthy fats and eat and drink a lot but there's only so much I can take in.  At the end of the day I feel like I will explode.  My bellybutton begins to slowly protrude out, but in the morning I see it back in again, and bigger than usual.  My bump is round and hard.  I think baby moved up a bit.  I can feel my little munchkin moving every day.  Before it used to be only at night but now he/she started moving in the mornings too.  I just hope baby is ok.  I pray every day for good health.

This week has been a very calm week.  I've been trying to think of a good baby name but I need to know if it's going to be a boy or a girl.  Before wanting to know any of that, I really want to know if my baby is healthy.  I'm trying my best to take care of this lil one...but it's all up to God.

I will end my week 19 post here.  Tomorrow will be the big day when we get to see baby inside of me.    Fingers are crossed.  I am nervous and excited all at the same time.  Have no idea what to expect and what to ask the doctor! I will keep you guys updated! Talk to ya tomorrow!

09 January 2013

Pregnancy week 18

This was the week my in-laws left out of the country to visit Bangladesh so the house feels a bit empty.  Quieter.

I still throw up occasionally in the mornings and have horrible heartburn in the evenings.  Haven't really weighed myself yet but I'm not going to worry about weight right now since I do feel bigger.  I'm trying to stay healthy but sometimes it just feels like I'm not trying hard enough.  Don't know what to expect for next week for the ultrasound.  I hope my baby is doing ok in there.  Sure feels like it!  Before I used to feel light flutters but now those flutters are turning out to be stronger thumps and kicks!  Maybe by next week my husband can finally feel our baby kick!

There was nothing special that happened this week. I just threw up every morning and felt exhausted afterwards!

Food:  it was the most unhealthiest week for me. No wonder i had all that heartburn and vomiting.  I made these juicy extra large burgers for our "Texas longhorn night" and they turned out delicious.  Haven't been touching fruits. Only proteins. I know...im so bad.

Weight gain: still 0. I am very worried. My bump however is growing progressively week by week.  Never seen a bump so big for 4 months!

Pregnancy Week 17

Dear Baby,

you feel like a giant watermelon inside of me, but according to the weekly pregnancy websites you are about the size of a turnip and you weigh 5 ounces.  So it's really hard to blame you for my huge bump that looks more like a week 25 bump.  I still love you.

People are assuming I'm having twins by the size of my belly but I know for sure it's just one.  At least that's what I saw earlier back in week 9.  Your newly developed hands and feet were moving so fast it looked so adorable! I just can't wait to see you in 2 weeks.  I miss seeing your tiny energetic body.  I know it won't be the same this time around though.  You have grown so much over the past several months, baby.  This time your daddy will be seeing you too...for the very first time.  I wonder what's going through his mind...

You've been sending me light flutters here and there you know...Especially during movie nights when I'm with your dad and your 2 crazy uncles. It's a wonderful feeling.  Can't wait to feel you kick!

Now that you have developed ears that are finally in place, you probably hear things...like mommy's voice...the one who giggles a lot and sometimes sings to you...and some other familiar voices.  The loudest one is going to be your daddy's voice! Don't worry, you'll love him!

I have some sad news for you this week.  Your great grandpa passed away yesterday morning in Bangladesh.  May his soul rest in peace.  He would have been so delighted to see you! So mommy has been reciting a lot of duas for your great grandpa lately.  Your grandparents will be leaving for Bangladesh in a couple of days, and they are very heartbroken.  Hopefully when they come back safely, you can be the one to cheer them up and fill their hearts with warmth and joy again.

Your grandparents in the US ask about you every single day.  They are so excited.  They have been having these beautiful dreams about playing with you.  You are the biggest thing they are looking forward to right now.  Their first grandchild.  You will be so special, baby.  Your grandmama already started buying things for you!  You will be one spoiled baby.

To wrap it up, I'm doing just fine thank you.  Just occasional vomiting.  Yup.  Need to throw up at least twice a week.  Other than that I'm good.  I eat normally now, but I have major heartburn. I feel heavier obviously, and my clothes are tight so it's time for me to get some maternity dresses.

Talk to you next week! 

Pregnancy Week 16

Hey lil one,

How are you doing in there? I'm feeling much better and can actually eat normally. Let mommy tell you about her exciting week 16.

I got absolutely no sleep at all this week.  Why? It was my first time working in Sweden. And even though it shouldn't sound like such a big deal since it was just a temporary 5-day thing at the post office, it was still pretty big to me.  I met new people and sorted thousands of christmas cards from all over the country.  6 hours a day from morning to noon sounds like a pretty comfy schedule, until you actually start doing it! It sucks catching the early bus in the dark winter days with snow getting on your way. It's hard to wake up super early just to eat something and leave half an hour early for work. It's a challenge standing for long hours on your feet with endless cards waiting to be sorted. It's a pain running to the bathroom to throw up! Oh yeah, I threw up several times this week, and suffered backpain and morning sickness, headaches...but I also met wonderful people who gave me extra attention when they found out I was pregnant. I could never sleep at night but i would doze off many times on the hour long bus trip back home.

So that was my week.

Oh I left out the most important part. The best part of this week was feeling my little baby at midnight! Baby, you moved so much this week!  I felt every bit of it! I have no idea what you're doin in there but it sure is wonderful timing...right before mama falls asleep!  Is that your way of saying goodnight? Your daddy loves it when you bug mommy like that.  He says you're already taking his side.  Come on, is that really true?

Main Foods I've had:

Rice, chicken breast, egg n cheese sandwiches, salmon, lamb, avocadoes with lemon, cocnut, clementines, bananas, ginger cookies (they are saving my life!), milk, yogurt, the occasional fries and cheeseburgers (my biggest craving)

Weight progress:
I gained 1 kg.  Need  to gain a kg a week since I've lost so much weight.  That's why I'm eating so much avocado and eggs.

Pregnancy Week 15 (2nd trimester)

What a milestone! I made it through the first 3 months and today marks the beginning of my 2nd trimester! I feel absolutely fantastic and I hope baby does too.

Today has been a wonderful day!  I remember in the middle of my first trimester I was craving all these summer fruits that were impossible to find in any grocery store here.  All these exotic tropical fruits.  Well, it's December, snowing like crazy outside and as I walk in the supermarket I see all the fruits I have been craving for weeks all on the same row.  It was so incredibly pleasant to see!  I got my green hard mangoes, litchis, sour starfruits, juicy watermelon, and promegrenate.  I never felt so glad in my life.  Carrying heavy loads of fruits over the snowy hilltops was definitely worth it today. Walking up a hill with a big fat watermelon felt like running a mile afterwards though.  I was breathless!

I went to see my midwife today and she gave me these 2 important papers that I'm suppose to take the day of the delivery.  I finally found out my blood group (A+) and she said all the test results came out normal.  I got my time to do the ultrasound.  That would be one month from now.  Can't wait!  I also found out that my midwife is pregnant! I'm only 3 months and she's like 5 and a half.  Pretty cool.  Her bump sure shows it.

How am I feeling?

Much better than 3 weeks ago.  I have gradually progressed and I finally gained about 1.5kg last week.  So I'm catching up.  I think my frequent intake of fruits and nuts are really helping me recover faster.  I have more energy now.

The part that sucks is even though I eat a lot of fruits with fiber I hardly go to the bathroom except for peeing.  No wonder my tummy is the size of a freakin melon.  It better not be smashing my baby.

Foods I eat..

Let's hope that hyperemesis nightmare doesnt come get me again.  While I was going through so much vomiting the only thing I was able to take in was yogurt and potatoes.  Now the list has improved.

I get my day's portion of protein (eggs, salmon, chicken breast, dried nuts), Fruits n vegetables (I eat a lot of fruits, and mostly greens n carrots for vegies), whole grains and starches , dairy (milk, cheese and low fat yogurt).  I eat every 1.5hours to avoid sickness and i never drink liquid and solids together.  I still have to get into a good habit of drinking more water.

How's baby?

How's my baby? I'm asking myself the same thing.  I really don't know.  I read all these weekly pregnancy sites and thats about as much information I can get.  I know that it can hear now....and eat (through some amniotic sac).  All I know is it's the size of an orange and it feels like it. My waist is much thicker.  I have a slight bump and I bloat like crazy so if you combine my bloaty tummy with the little bump I actually look 4 whole months preggo!  Thanks to gas.

Pregnancy week 14

I was way too happy on the first 2 days of this week.  I sure was! I dropped by to see my midwife who gave me iron tablets and told me hopefully everything will start to get better.  I was obligated to take Primparon today since i am not able to take a single sip of anything by mouth.  Soooo sick of being sick! To top it all off, there is a terrible blizzard outside and I don't think it will stop until we get 2 meters of snow (we already got 1 meter).  Too scared to open the damn door!  I hate this stuffy feeling in the house it just makes me feel worse.  I got this new symptom where I almost faint every morning.

I also heard most who go through hyperemesis are pregnant with a female fetus.  So I will probably have a girl.  Who knows...

When i do have cravings they are usually: cheeseburgers, kfc, sometimes sour fruits, and salty snacks.
Other days I just don't eat anything.  Not even a sip of water...my vomiting gets that bad.  That's why the doctor prescribed me primparon to take anally.  I don't know if it actually works though.  I also read that it poses a risk to the baby especially during 3rd trimester.  I am about to start 2nd trimester and just to be on the safe side, I avoid primparon with the exception of days like today!

Pregnancy week 13

Day 1 of this week really sucked! I threw up the entire day even without eating or drinking anything!  I also had major heartburn the day before.  I guess even if i do crave sour things, I won't be able to eat it, because I really don't want to experience heartburt ever again!

My bump is visible now.  Baby is growing fine I hope. If so, it should be the size of a peach by now.  This week I have been getting the feeling that it's going to be a girl.  Let's see what the doctor says next month!

I am back to a strict diet again.  I can't eat anything too greasy or spicy at all.

Oh help me God! Give me strength to get me through the next 6 months! I can't control my digestive system my goodness it's going psycho on me! Calm it down please! I'm in the middle of week 13 and people are saying sickness is supposed to calm down! It's not! I lost count on how many times i threw up today..and all i took in was a bread, a cookie, and a tiny chicken roll.  Everything came out...water came out...saliva...then all i saw in the toilet was green fluid that I almost choked on! This sucks!  Took my medicine...but i still feel the same! Let me just feel sleepy so i can sleep through this please!!!  Can't I be sleeping beauty for 6 months???? I can't take it anymore, I need healing!

Last day of week 13:  And God answered my prayers! I feel fantastic today.  Woke up early in the morning today without feeling queezy.  I ate breakfast and lunch and so far, as half the day has passed, no sign of vomiting or any kind of sickness!  I can eat a whole steak right now!

I went to see my midwife today and she told me to take iron tablets (niferex) for the time being.  Next appointment will be in a week and she will be able to tell if I still need to be on iron tablets or not.

Hope my baby's fine in there.  I do not look pregnant at all, but guess what? Tomorrow I will start week 14!!!!! Yay! Last week of first trimester. Hmmm...still haven't told the world about this big secret yet....thinking of spreading the good news soon.

Pregnancy week 12 - started to show!

This is day 1 of week 12.  Almost there! I can't wait till I get through first trimester just one more week, yay!

Just when I thought my morning sickness was going away, I started throwing up right after breakfast.  I drank some juice and half an our later there it goes again.  I had lunch and luckily I still kept it down. My throat does however feel kind of funny.  I just don't wanna think about it again.  I have a feeling I will be taking more trips to the bathroom later on this afternoon.

I have so much dizziness it's crazy! Can't get up from sitting down too fast.  Still can't eat anything with oil or any kind of spices...or anything warm.  It just makes me gag.  I'm living off of boiled potatoes.  Still haven't gained back my regular weight.  Baby you're killin' me here! I'm still thankful that my baby's doing great.  My baby has reflexes now!

I'm still not showing obviously, but I sure can feel where it is.  It's amazing to even think about another life being created inside of you. And I pray every day that the lil' one is healthy and safe.

How am I getting through this month? Well I'm looking forward to my next appointment with my midwife on Dec 10th.  That's the day she will give me the date for the ultrasound.  That will be the first day I take my husband with me.  Boy will he be surprised.  The last time I got an ultrasound done at 9 weeks was amazing. Unfortunately my husband couldn't be with me, he was working.  This time will be interesting.  I think that will be the day we get to know whether it's a boy or a girl.  Whatever sex it may be, we just want a healthy baby!

Middle of 12 weeks and I feel pretty good, not to mention, I finally have my bump! My little bump! Yes it is already visible! I can feel where it is my goodness what an amazing feeling...just knowing where it is. So i looked in the mirror and suddenly see the "bump" that i am so obssesed with right now...and i start thinking, hmmm, it seems to be pretty low...so far i look like i am carrying low.  You know what they say about that..."boy baby".  Then again i am breaking out (thanks hormones!) and the glow went away...so they say those signs imply "girl baby".  Don't really want to stick to the old wive's tale...really cant say what the gender is and you know what? I dont care i just want a healthy baby! Yay!

Pregnancy week 11

So week 10 was so far my worst week.  I hope that was the last time I ever need to go to the hospital for so much vomiting.

Week 11 started out horrific.  I woke up on day 2 and started bleeding all of a sudden!  So much went through my mind. Tried to stay calm but come on, after seeing blood the first time earlier this year my positive feelings were flushed down the toilet once I slowly found out I was going to have a miscarriage.  I was praying with my hand on my womb to keep my baby alive this time.    Luckily the bleeding stopped.  I guess it was old blood or something.  I hear that it happens to some pregnant women around this time.  The blood spills out due to the cervix being sensitive.  Anyway...I just don't wanna see blood again!

I didn't throw up this week at all.  I'm still careful with my meals.  Instead of 3 large meals I tend to have 6 small ones a day, keeping myself hydrated between every meal.  I can't drink large gulps of anything, especially water.  Apple juice and potatoes are my best friends! Man, I am so underweight right now.

My baby is supposed to be more than an inch big now.  I wonder whats going on inside.  I feel physical changes and half the time it feels kinda weird...and gross.  Always feeling nauseous, throwing up in the morning, on meds, excess saliva, feeling "wet", do I need to say more????? Then I think about that sweet little angel's face.

Week 10 : my second stay at the hospital

It is said, "knowing about it is not the same as experiencing it yourself." I couldn't agree more.

We all know pregnant women go through all these changes in their body which causes all-day sickness, mood swings, fatigue and so much more, but we really don't get the real deal until we're the ones who become pregnant.

I used to ask my mother, "ammu, how come you never wanted more children?" She would answer saying how I have always been the one special gift to both her and dad. She never wanted to make me feel left out when it came to loving and caring.  "but having more than one child does not mean loving one child more than the other!  At the end, when you get old, you will only regret not having a bigger family," the other mothers would say.  Then my mom would tell me about her long sick days throughout her 9 months. What I never knew was mom had undergone hyperemesis gravidarum.  Something that im suffering from now.  My poor mommy. I feel every inch of her pain now!  I wouldn't wish for this condition on my worst enemy...

Each and every human body responds differently.  Some have it easy, some in the middle, and some just have very bad luck! In this case, I am totally out of luck!

I was recovering from last week until suddenly I had painful stomach aching and diarrhea the entire night! Not to mention, vomiting! All at the same time, minute after minute. It was war.  I hardly had any fluid in me, and whatever bits i had left just all came out! Couldn't even swallow my own saliva.  So i had to get admitted to huddinge again.  More iv, one more day of fasting. ER here I come....

What can I eat?
Nothing. But i finally got to drink one whole glass of water.

How is the baby?
Absolutely fine.  This is my baby's way of letting me know "im growing just fine!" All those organs and organ tissues are developing so quickly.  Just Amazing...

Pregnancy week 9: hyperemesIs gravidarum

I haven't had anything to eat since yesterday morning. The reason is, i vomit everything..even water. The meds i got never really helped. Yesterday was my week-9 appointment with my midwife at 11am. She took my blood after struggling to find my hard-to-see thin vessel on the 3rd shot with the needle. Everything looked fine until she checked my pressure (90/60) and found Ketones in my urine sample. Oh and to add on to that, i lost 3kg.  She looked concerned and immediately sent me to the hospital to get me treated by the gynecologist. My journey to Huddinge sjukhus began.

Unlucky me...

Unfortunately I'm part of that tiny 2% of pregnant women who go through hyperemesis gravidarum.  I vomit violently to the point where my body becomes so dehydrated that I lose a lot of electrolites and sugars and stuff.  Drastic change of weight in a short period of time. Feel like fainting half the time. Yup, I'm the victim.

As soon as i got there, the nurses did a blood test again. And AGAIN they couldn't find my vessel, so they stuck needles on me and took them out until they found the right place. I was a freakin pin cushion!

Doctor said I'm not in good shape and that i needed to stay in the hospital for a few days.  FEW DAYS????My body was completely dehydrated. They injected my other arm with a bag of IV and here i am now laying in the hospital with my 4th bag of IV.  What a pain it is to take a huge equipement with you wherever you go...especially the bathroom.  I have been admitted to the hospital yesterday noon and ever since then, my body hasn't taken in anything (no food) except vitamin B6 shots, IV fluid, and a whole bunch of medicine (antacids).  I had NO sleep last night because my right arm (the one with the IV injected) stung and hurt horribly.  Nurse lady at night duty did NOT want to change my arm cz she was too damn lazy! All she said at 3am was "the pain is normal..it's because the drop is running fast," and left with a freakin annoying smile! Finally got it changed to my left arm at 8am! Much better!

I will be staying in huddinge sjukhus one more night (let's hope i recover fast). So boring! Can't even eat anything.  I think I got so depressed at one point that I started watching Cinderella on my ipad.

The Baby...

Oh! I left out one very important news.  In the middle of all this chaos something took me to another world.  First ultrasound! Right before that stiffness when they stuck that thing inside me, my attention went to the small screen beside me. A miracle inside me...moving, growing, wiggling....it was incredible.  It wasn't like last time, where I saw an empty womb.  No....I never felt so thankful in my life. I saw my baby....

I got an ultrasound done yesterday. I saw my little grape! Finally a fetus and it sure looked like one! I had never seen something as cute as that! It was moving so fast!  The body was almost clear with the ittybitty fingers,limbs and head. Just amazing! That was truely the highlight of my day!  I almost cried! I have no idea how I will react when I see the real ultrasound at 4 months????  Or is it 5????

Anyways....being hospitalized sucks big time.

Pregnancy Week 8

It's hard to act like you're completely normal when you have all these hormones going crazy, giving your body gradual change. I can't act like i'm fine when i'm actually vomiting every day even after being on meds.

It's extremely difficult to keep such a big secret inside of you for weeks from your family and friends but this time, my husband and i have decided to keep it in the down low, since our first pregnancy ended up with an early miscarriage.  We are praying that our little one can make it through this time.

What's going on with me

This week, i did progress a bit, thanks to the unexpected trip to Huddinge sjukhuset. I was getting a bit worried and thought i needed an ultrasound just to see if  the embryo is fine. Well, my previous gynecologist told me after the miscarriage that if i get pregnant next time, she recommends that i get an ultrasound done by week 6 just to make sure that the embryo is continuing to grow. The gynecologist I ended up with this time around told me that im only 8 weeks, with no pain or bleeding, so an uncomfortable ultrasound would be unneccessary. Throwing up just means there's a lesser chance of a miscarriage.

So since i lost 4 kg in a week from vomiting just about everything, i finally got some meds. Lergigan comp and Lergigan.  They seem to help a bit. At least i can keep certain Foods down. Vomiting however will not go away. I wonder how long it will be this way. Let's hope it doesn't continue the entire 9 months.

Baby's progress

Looking on the bright side....my buddy inside, now the side of a kidney bean, is doing great. At least someone feels good! Now her/ his fingers are forming...how amazing is that....i cant believe theres someone inside of me going through so many changes so fast!

Pregnancy week 7 - long way to go

I've decided to start a little diary of my own which I will soon publish after spreading the big news. I waited till week 7 because I was all paranoid about whether this pregnancy will be successful or not, but hey, anything can go wrong at any time of the whole 9 months right? So what the heck.  Here goes nothin....

What's happening to me?

I'm pregnant! When did I find out? A few weeks after we came back from that tiring London trip.  Out of nowhere I felt like gagging until I threw up! Went to the doctor the next day and my feelings were right...the test came out positive and I was 5 weeks!

Now its week 7 ONLY.  I have been throwing up every day since week 5. Not fun! I am so used to putting my head facing the toilet and throwing up 3 times a day! Oh help me God. I feel weak and sleepy all day. I can not stand the smell of anything, especially meat and curry!  I have more food aversions than cravings, and if I do get cravings, Sweden usually doesn't have that kind of food available! Like crunchy dill pickles. They don't have it here! Or real mac n cheese...chicken biscuits n fried chicken....qeusadillas....hot wings! Oh please help!

All I can take in are fresh cold fruits and milk. Crunchy apple slices, sweet peaches, oh and cold freshly riped tomatoes with salt. The rest make me vomit.

I lost weight. About 4 kg. I just hope i don't lose anymore. Who knows how long it will be this way! I am so sick of throwing up!

What's the little one up to?

Baby is just getting started! It's the size of a blueberry, how cute!  All that throwing up just means baby is doing A ok.  At least I don't have to worry THAT much about the risk of miscarriage.  This is a sign that, unlike the first time, my baby is growing just on time.

03 January 2013

Looking forward to 2013

First of all, I want to wish everybody a very happy and prosperous new year!

Last year wasn't the best year for me, but I can't complain much about it.  Although I've been through some tough times (not getting to drive in Sweden, miscarriage, not able to start school or get a job, staying in the hospital, just to name a few), I have never learned so much in my life!

I've learned to be a very patient and optimistic woman.  I've learned that one must go through disastrous events in order to grasp the true value of happiness. Even when it was about time for me to realize that I might have a hopeless dark future in this country I still had faith in God.  I prayed for patients and positivity.  I knew I had many things that I should be greatful for but I was somehow blinded by all the negativity and I kept praying for a clear bright path.  All my prayers from last year were miraculously answered.  They were all answered at the right time.  Sometimes we want things in the wrong time but we hardly think about timing when it comes to "wants".  It's all about patients!

I want to share some good news this new year.  I finally got some experience working in Sweden.  I worked some hours at the post office and loved the atmosphere.  Got paid while I sorted christmas cards and made new friends and accquaintances.  Now I can finally add on to my resume that I HAVE worked in this country.  I had also registered for nursing school for the spring semester which I have finally gotten the answer to.  My school starts in the middle of this month and it is a distance learning program which makes it so convinient for me!  Why did I choose distant-learning? One big thing I left out. My hubby and I are going to be parents! I'm 4 months pregnant!  Yes, first trimester was so horrible to me that I had to stay in the hospital several days for drops.  Yeah, it was pretty bad...I got it bad..but I made huge progress and hopefully I will get to know how the baby is doing on our ultrasound on the 14th!  So excited!  Also, we will be moving to a new place around April.  Something else to look forward to.  Oh so many changes already!  I'm both excited and nervous!