22 October 2014

BIG FAT U TURN - farewell to nursing

I have to cancel almsot everything I had planned for my future career because it just won't work out. All my life I was aiming for something in the field of science, but in every step of my way something always knocked me down and that something was always a sign that this field was never for me.  Me and science were just never meant to be.  It sounds like a line from a pathetic song but this is the truth.  I just realized it so late in my life! Science and I were never meant to be!  Because you know what? If we were, I would have been making a living reasearching, or making vaccines, or just treating people.  As cool as all that sounds it just won't ever work out for me so I open my options and think about what would suit me best.  

I am a goal oriented woman and I want to always be there for my family.  I have a wonderful little family and I hope to someday make it even bigger.  If that's the case, then I have to be supermom and find a career that will give me enough income with lovely office hours so when I get done from work I get to see my lovely husband and amazing children and spend as much time with them as possible.  In 3 months that is!

03 September 2014

The Story of Tani...(in short)

Once upon a time, in a stormy day in the flooded capital city of Bangladesh, a girl was born.  Her name was Tanjina.

The seasons passed and baby Tanjina started crawling...talking...walking..and at 2 years of age, her mommy and daddy took her some place far far away for a better future. America.
Although she was Bangladeshi by blood, her heart always embraced the USA as her real home.  She was the sweet quiet little girl down south who loved to draw and dance.

The older she grew the more she wondered what her purpose in life was.  Many career days in school had passed and finally one afternoon, she figured out her future.  All thanks to a chubby cute little lady who came as a guest speaker in Tanjina's 8th grade classroom.  "Every time I do it, I fall in love with my job again. Because you see the miracle in front of you."  That was all that lady had to say.

High school, you know gow overrated it can be.  The course overload, homework over the long weekends, summer vacation even, homecoming drama, football, SATs, college applicarions, provacative appearances, those popular crowds....oh the distractions....they just made boring Tanjina overwhelmed.  She was ready to get out of that chaos and start her life all over again.  She was going to represent her true personality in college, with her dreams of becoming a doctor.

Yes, you heard right. Her friends were going to be doctors.  She apparently loved biology.  So why not give it a shot?

Tanjina shot...and missed...shot again, and missed...started losing hope...even changed majors last minute to business, and missed big time.  She discovered how much she despised business.  She went back to her comfort courses in science...still confused as hell about her career when all of a sudden, prince charming knocked on her door....and she opened it...and yes he did come from far far away...and so they got married and lived happily....in Sweden. Score.

Except for the times when she thought about her dream of doing something for people...working...getting paid and finally making her dreams come true.  She felt lonely...missed hee family and friends...missed home...even missed Bangladesh, her other home.  She struggled learning swedish.  She started having identity crisis. It was high school all over again, she thought.  All those years ahe transformed from a quiet shy little nerd to a smart outgoing ok looking girl was for nothing.  She was back to being short, quiet, shy, stupid....and confused.  She experienced something new, in this new life of hers.  She experienced failure.  Lots of differenr kinds.  No matter how she failed, however, her husband was always by her side, encouraging her.

This gave her strength and shefinally fueled up for change.  That was when the words in her head were clear..."Because you see the miracle in front of you.."  Tanjina was going to become a mother.  She went through a tough pregnancy her first trimester and experienced her stay in the lonely hospital bed for several nights.  All she could do was watch disney songs and think of her little miracle.  "Get yourself together Tani.  You have to stand by yourself...nobody else does that for you" she told herself.

Tanjina finally admited all she ever wanted to do was give birth to babies.  She wanted to be a midwife.  She was ready to start even with a baby bump.
She was not going to give up!

2013 May, her baby boy was born and all she could think of was the magical moment when a baby comes into this world.  Amazing.  That is how we all came here.  Just amazing.

Tanjina will try her very best to become a wonderful midwife...she is almost there....

To be continued...

14 August 2014

Art of the Day - Home away from home...away from home

Yes I did!I made a fake canvas with sketching paper and ducktaped it to the wall.  It looks surprisingly professional. Cost was free. Materials were paper, pencil, scissors, tape and a creative mind.

I just wanted to express my life in a simple black and white picture...well 2.

You see a long bridge that I scribbled.  A bamboo bridge that transforms into metal along the way to the new countries.  The left picture starts with Bangladesh, my motherland, hence the Sriti shodh and bamboo.  Far ahead are familiar skyscrapers in the USA, the place I grew up in and called home.  Near to the front on the 2nd picture are smaller buildings,old fashioned buildings which are churches, offices, and apartments by the water.  This is Sweden, the place my real journey began.  Now this is my home.  i believe there is no permanent place for us in life. We should never get too attached because what you have now will not be with you tomorrow.  We are all travelers in this world.  At least I am...

05 November 2013

Feeding Your Baby (0 to 5months)

So Isaam is growing up way too fast and it is just adorable to see!  Daddy is bringing him new toys every week and mommy keeps putting on bigger shirt sizes on mr. cutie.  Some updates with my son:

-He is now 5 months woohoo!
-Isaam has so far gotten sick 3 times.  2 Fevers and the common cold.  I handled it pretty well.
-He got his 2nd vaccination shots and he is finally getting his energy back after 2 days of mild fever.
-He loves laying on his tummy and watching disney songs.  He struggles to crawl and he can sit with some support.
-Isaam has  discovered his feet and all he does when he lays down is curl up like a ball and bite his feet.  No more sucking hands, it's all about feet now.
-Isaam got his new bed, but he still sleeps with mommy and daddy.
-he has been introduced to mild cereal and potatoes and plum puree.  I feed him 2 tsp with 90ml formula milk.
-After he is done eating I pour in 2 to 3 oz of formula milk and continue feeding him by spoon (since he hates the bottle!).
-he loves water and his vit. D
-he naps for 30min 3 times a day, and sleeps through the night (almost)...feeding him 2 times at night
-he still wants breastmilk like every 2hours... as long as he is getting enough! Nowadays hes so distracted whenever im feeding. Oh, and he just loves looking at us when we are eating!

I am seriously worried about his growth.  The ped said everything is fine but I wonder how things will be when I have low breastmilk supply, since he hates the bottle.  Hope things go fine!

18 September 2013

Hairloss after child birth!

Yes I have been warned several months ago, while I was pregnant, that I was going to lose a chunk of hair after I had my baby.  What I didn't know was that the hairloss peaks on the 3.5 to 4 month line.  Seriously, every time I OH SO GENTLY pull out my hairband down comes a huge patch of my hair. For a few days I forgot that this was supposed to happen and started panicking like a maniac.  I was going through a whole "my youth is vanishing" crisis.  Now hubby and the little angel is sleeping and here I am googling passed midnight about postpartum hairloss.  I read that hairloss reaches it's peak around month 4 (isaam is 3.5 months now) and by the time he turns 1 yrs old, my hair will grow out again. Phew! I am calm once again. Thank you.

04 September 2013

What to expect after having your baby

Time sure flies! So this post will be all about my wonderful son, Isaam!  He is already 3 months officially an infant!  Let me give some updates from the very beginning.  This might be useful information for future mommies.

After birth, Isaam as a newborn:

As a newborn, being a few days old, I still found everything to be so overwhelming.  All these emotions going on and I was just physically and mentally drained.  First concerns I had was breastfeeding. But before getting used to breastfeeding I had to get used to so many new things about my newborn son.  I tried not to freak out whenever he cried but I just couldn't help it.  But these things really soothed him...

Baby's care:

-Have as much skin-to-skin contact with your baby as possible.  Let him/her hear your heart beat.
-It is recommended that the newborn sleeps with the parents instead of putting them alone right away.
-Unless you have no other choice, it is recommended you breastfeed your newborn fulltime.
-A newborn might have cold (purple) hands and feet.  Totally normal.  Keep in mind that the lil munchkin's system is starting to get used to the real world.
-the baby will twitch frequently during sleep.
-he might spit up bubbles of leftover amniotic fluid.  Don't freak out.
-His first few poop will be dark and tarry.
-Hiys pee might look a bit pinkish.
-His weight will go down a little after his bowl movement.
-His skin will peel dramatically, and breastfeeding will help smoothen the skin faster.
-try gently rubbing drops of breastmilk on highly sensitive and dry areas.
-His nails will be sharp, so make sure you file them.  Use a filer and file downwards not sideways (do nottt cut their nails).
-bathing them once a week for now is enough.  Warm clean water is good.  A small portion of baby oil is optional.
-Newborns are usually hungry all the time so it's normal to feed them all day and night long.  My schedule became a bit steady after 2 months!
-don't overdress your new born.  He needs fresh air too.  Keep the window open for clean air.
-Sometimes a newborn may have tummy problems and gas.  His digestive system is still developing.  Try laying him on his tummy, as long as he is awake.
-Never lay a baby on their tummy when they are sleeping (SID syndrom).
-While feeding, changing, and bathing baby, sing to them or talk to them.
-Try sticking out your tongue to a newborn, see if they react hehe.
-feed your baby ON DEMAND.  So if you just got done feeding him, and he cries for more in less than 5 minutes, then feed him again!
-Take baby out and show him new faces and people.
-expect 8 to 12 feedings per day.
-expect 8-12 diaper changes ;)
-making babies fall asleep requires some work.  Sleepless nights and restless days.
-Their first smile will be priceless.

Just remember that everything will come naturally.  Go with your instincts.  You are the parents so the way you raise your child is all up to you.