The question some men ask me in sweden

I had been studying Swedish for about 11 months now and i have met plenty of immigrants from all around the world. Among them are many Bangladeshis as well.



According to most bengalis, having an American passport means you will never leave America, the "land of opportunity", for any other country in the world. Rather it should be the other way around.

So in my case, most bengalis who especially have relatives living in the U.S.A. question me with a dumbstrucken face as to why I chose to leave my home to live in Europe.

My decision of settling with my husband in Sweden was one of the biggest controversial topics in Georgia. Everybody thought i was crazy and they still probably do, because if they were in my place they would most definitely either make their husband come to the states or break the relationship. IF they were in my place. IF statements are bogus statements. Stepping into reality puts you in a whole different level. So we need to get out of this IF fantasy world now.

When meet a new classmate who is a male from either the middle east or asia, they ask me first, where i come from. The conversation goes a little something like this:

Stranger: Where are you from?

Me: Bangladesh.

Stranger: Really? You don't look at all like it.

Stranger: You speak good english.

Me: THank you, I grew up in the states.

Stranger: Oh really? Then why did you move here?

Me: My husband lives here. I got married and then moved up here.

Stranger: Oh! You are married?
(Then there is this akward silence, leading to a very weird question)
Stranger: Did you move here by choice ? It would be so easy for you to succeed in your home. Are you happy here?

I feel that it is a rather personal question but I get asked this occasionally. I think it's such a sensitive time to answer. Ofcourse i feel homesick. If i keep thinking about the opportunities i have lost by leaving America, leaving my family and loved ones, my life, how can i concentrate on learning Swedish? It disturbs me.

My SAS grund teacher gave us this excellent advice of being "nutänkande". In other words, concentrate on what you are doing NOW and worry about nothing else. Don't overthink about the future. If you think far off on how to be a swedish pharmacist, and look at yourself now, as a SAS grund level student trying to be a pharmacist, you will obviously think it is all impossible. So just go with the flow and focus on the current goal you have put up for yourself.

Despite all the great advices i get, i still have to put up with some really nosey men who keep asking me the same question every day. I respect everybodys opinion, but sometimes keep asking me one annoying thing over and over again really affects me.

I end up thinking why i really moved to Sweden.

Moving to sweden was absolutely my own choice and nobody forced me. Some people need to get that misconception out oftheir head, that I had no choice but to come to sweden.

Besides, I am loving the atmosphere here. There are many things that i find wonderful about this country. Every land has it's good and bad sides. Honestly, i think Stockholm holds more good qualities than any other country in the world. The citizens here are very happy and healthy. They are "nöjd". And considering i am a woman, i am even more satisfied. This country is the best place for especially women to live in.

How the long annoying conversation ended with one of the men:

Stranger: I still don't get why youleft such a big country like America and moved to Sweden. It's harder to succeed here.

Me: I want to be positive about whatever I do in my life. So to me, it really doesn't matter where I live. Living in Stockholm feels a lot like living in Georgia.

Stranger: I didn't mean to say you should take it negatively....ok. I guess it's all up to you how you want to lead your life.

Me: Yeah, I guess so.