Women in IT - Where is the equality?

Dear Insensitive Men,

We are creating networks and support organizations to encourage potentially talented and intelligent women to get through the waves of sexism so they can finally earn what they deserve.  Why are you making it so difficult for us to contribute to the society?  We are trying our best to make this a better world, through numerous factors, technology being one of them.  Together, as men and women, we can do it.  You sexist men, however, push us back.  Make us weak, depressed, make us try 100 times harder than you ever will.

Why?

When a boy asks for help, you teach them.  When a girl asks, you disrespect them, and do the job yourself like a hero.

Why is it that when she makes a mistake in her swedish, you cannot continue talking in swedish, instead of pointing out their mistakes.  She is aware, of her mistakes.

Why is it that when she asks about technical issues, you give her know information, no solution, show her no cause of the issue, but fix it without explanation?

Why is it, that when HE makes a mistake, you give him time to reflect and discuss improvement,
but when SHE does it, you complain, become passive aggressive, and point out her weaknesses?

Why is she CEO and getting paid less than another male CEO?
She is taking care of her family at home, bringing up good children, and she is taking care of her company, just like her children.  Yet she gets paid lower than a man whose main focus is to take care of his company. 

She wants to help, but you clearly show there is no way she can help. 

What exactly is going on here?  Were our brains made differently? Do you confuse the brain with the other physical parts that differentiate gender?

What time period are you living in?

Thanks for showing me what an idiot you are.  Today I got reminded again, that I am all on my own to tackle something.  I am just beginning to learn and when I know how to do something, I will definitely use it the right way.   I will spread that knowledge.  I will help every gender, every race to achieve it.  Because I have nothing to lose.  I will show you whose boss. 

Regards,

The brown techie girl 

Tani

Are you a Good Girl?

I had come across this awesome Tedx Talk by Camilla Lundin.  One of Stockholm's youngest and leading entrepreneurs.   CEO and Founder of Qalora Capital.  She talks about why you shouldn't be the "good girl", and how just daring and accepting your chances and mistakes can open a new gate to your highest possibilities to success. 

If it wasn't for Camilla Lundin's Tedx talk, I would have had one of the worst days of my life today.  I might have gone through a phase of depression, just like I have gone through earlier during the dark years in Sweden, through the very unfortunate tides of underestimation going through poor invisible me.  Poor me. 

Now let's think about these words carefully, "poor me".  The feeling of sympathy towards the self has always resulted in misery and unproductive days which I have been losing all this time.  Why say poor me, why me, when I can say NO, not me, not today.  I have to be my own hero.  It's how the world works.  I love myself, and I know how to approach myself.  I will not be hard on myself, but I will definitely challenge my heights because I know I have that in me. 

I have completed my first year as a professional in the field of IT.  Let me tell you what hit me hard     
Lessons learned last year and also relating to the video: 

Nice behaviour can be deceiving ..do not be fooled
Especially when you enter the professional world, there is not a single soul who will put you before themselves.  We complain that people are selfish, and yes, this is a fact.  We are human, and when we say people are selfish, we say that we ourselves are. And if that is not the case, then I say it's about time you become selfish!  Think for yourself and please prioritise, because it is up to you to make a difference.

Life is too short to complain about these matters.  Is somebody being selfish to you? Ok, here is a solution, you focus on yourself please.  Without hurting others, without leaving others in a mess.  Do it the "boss" way.  Do it like a real woman.

Don't say sorry, say thank you
Avoid apologizing, it will give all the excuses for somebody to potentially blame you in the future.  Do not expose your weakness by feeling sorry for yourself, but appreciate what you are given.  Instead of saying sorry, give an "I really appreciate your patience" reply. 

Learn how to express yourself,
Because nobody else knows you better than yourself.  You do not have any self description written on you for others to see.  Your clear valuable words bring out your originality.  Your actions prove your values. 

Be Tender and Kind
The most attractive feature of a person is their natural smile.  You face, your personality, your behaviour will define your image.  Don't ever forget that taking off ego, helping others, and spreading knowledge the best way possible are key qualities to being a true leader.  

Who am I? A mother, an engineer, a leader, a dreamer. I am Tani

I still remember the day when I got laughed at when I said, "Maybe I should look into IT".  As if I was being underestimated for being a nursing student, or maybe because I was a girl.  I really don't know why.  But it hit me hard.  So hard, that next month, I decided to learn how to code.

And, Hello World!

No, I won't forget the struggles.  I will never forget the loss, the failures.  I have faced cold tides, yet here I stand.  Just like the vague stretch marks that still remain after years of mothering, scars and bruises remain, carving my mind, gifting me wisdom in return.  Here I stand, while the world keeps turning, showing it's true colors, one worse than the other.  Here i stand alone.  Alone but strong.   Nothing can break me now.  Nothing at all.   

I am so blessed.  Despite all that I have been through while searching for the real ME,  it feels good to achieve something all by myself.  The final product.  What I have learned from this amazing journey of finding myself in a place called Sweden, is that the goals that I was after were initially achieved in the hardest way. 

I was aiming for completing my education, getting a good career, being appreciated, getting respect, becoming a good mother.  Quality living.  I was running after all this, but took the wrong way.  The long way.

I never knew before, that all I needed was confidence, strong discipline, faith, and patience.  Being persistent with whatever I do.  To not lose focus, and kill the ego inside me.  To dare to just question.  Asking simple questions and learning something with a blank mind.  To create my own qualities, and design my own standards.  To stand up for myself, and make a positive surrounding.  To never let others know what I am planning to achieve, and to ask the right people for help.    We were given a brain for a reason.  We need to always challenge ourselves.  What good is it to stay in our comfort zone, when we get nothing out of it.  Nothing but temporary pleasure.  

We want something, we work hard to get it.  We earn it.  

"And seek help in patience and prayer." -Al-baqara-45

This is Tani.  An American-Bangali Swede, who started completely from scratch.  I got many words of discouragement, moving to another country from the USA.  Stupidity, they called it.  Leaving everything behind, leaving all privileges behind in the land of opportunity.  But here I am, still walking, still breathing, laughing and talking with my Swedish colleagues about how funny life can be.   How the same people encourage me, and call me intelligent now, and say what a safe and honourable country I live in.  How funny life can be.  

My 2nd job in Sweden! Yay!

August 15, 2017

I am so happy to tell you that I got the perfect extra job with the most flexible schedule and the coolest boss.  I will be working with toddlers for only a couple of hours a week as their caregiver.  I am so excited to meet the kids I will be taking care of!  I can't believe I finally succeeded an interview so smoothly with everything working out!  I am juiced up with energy! 

Is this it? My last month to relax?

August 13, 2017

Update...

So my PostNord job ends this month ...i will be working the entire month and guess what...I got an interview time on Aug 15th for the preschool kids job. Let's see how that goes.

Here is what makes August 2017 significant. August is the month of my mother's birthday, 31st, and this is the same day I end work at the post office.  I don't know, it's this strange feeling I have.  You know that feeling you get when you do something or see something for the very last time?  And it is just extremely meaningful...in the most unexplainable way possible?  That is how I feel now.  I learned so much working part-time at the post office.  I met different people, and obtained some wisdom.  The 16th is my parents' anniversary and the 15th is my job interview. 

This is the last month of my life in which I will have enough free time to fix my routine and even slack off. It's my month to relax and plan. My time to look through the telescope to see my shining future. My month to change my lifestyle and appreciate the things I have. My month to spend enough time with my family, especially my children.

Tick tock tick.

The Struggles of a Bangladeshi-American Swede Mother

July 28, 2017

The title of this post explains it all.  I am at one of the hardest times of my life.  I don't regret that many things I have done in Sweden because each action made me stronger and helped me discover a new side of me.  Who knew I had so many sides.  And roles.  Oh boy, don't get me started with roles.  Mother of two munchkins? Check. Wife? Check. Daughter-in-law?  My in-laws live near, so, check.  Student? Check.  Unemployed? BIG FAT BOLD CHECK.

An update of my life..here goes...

Let me start with a story.  A story from long back when I was a university student back home in the U.S. and I was young and stupid.  A 22 year old seeking the purpose of life.

I was once 22, and I had met a guy.  He had just gotten his bachelors in finance or something and he would message me every single day around the same time.  He was a very good looking guy with great intellect, but he had a weakness.  His english grammar was not the best.  So what was my purpose of meeting this guy can you guess?  The boy used me.  He bugged me every night to correct his resume and cover letter.  He was out searching for jobs and he always wrote different kinds of cover letters with countless errors in english.  I didn't mind correcting it.  It was a piece of cake for me...correcting an english cover letter for some job.  I never really did it seriously.  However, every time I got done editing and correcting his papers, he would be so relieved and happy.  He really depended on me to correct his cover letters.  I thought it was ridiculous that he continued to bug me about this for weeks.  I stopped replying to his emails and that was the end of correcting papers for free.  I wonder what he does now.  He is probably CEO of some firm in the US.

That was the story of the Indian guy who was struggling to get a job in the US.

Now here is the story of myself, struggling to succeed in Sweden.

I know I will succeed... in fact, maybe I already am I just don't know it yet.  I am halfway up that mountain.  I got into a good educational program and by 2019 January I will have knowledge and experience about software developing and finally get a job.

My school starts on September and no I still haven't gotten any schedule for my classes.  I also need a part-time job.  I have realised, that my mind works best when I am under pressure.  Pressure pushes me to succeed.  If I am too relaxed, I somehow become lazy and sometimes even fail.  So my job search is still going on and the worst part is I lost count on how many jobs I applied to.  No no, the worst part of all is that most good jobs are offered as full time and I will never be able to devote my full time to a work place when I am going to be a full time student as well.  I feel like crying when I think about that one special full time job I had received in my doorstep, which I had denied, due to my full time class schedule.  Life is full of obstacles.  I reassure my mind saying that I chose education over fast-money.  That one day, it will pay off.  Eventually I will be getting paid way more once I am done with school so why not have patience, right?

I have become a company stalker.  I read about several companies and I wait for a response.  So far, I have gotten responses like, we are still working on who to choose, or, it is vacation time so replying will take time.  Is that auto-response? Oh god, not even a real person replying.

I need a job.
I need to finish school.
I need sleep.

My kids are spending half the day with my husband and the rest of the day with me. I struggle keeping up with food routines with my kids.  Especially when they get sick.  I am trying very hard to give them enough time as a mother.  I don't know if I am really doing it though.  I am exhausted, guilty, frustrated, stressed, nervous, but also curious, at times optimistic (thanks to my father's blood), and kind (thanks to mom, i love you mom).  I hardly can spend time with my husband but he understands that.  He is the best father I have seen in this world seriously.

  

Dear Husband, thanks for always being there

July 25, 2017

It is no more the middle of summer and i have mixed emotions. It's 2017 and we are at the end of July. Should i be excited about my new education for September? Should i be disappointed that I didn't get my CSN money? Or that I still haven't gotten a job for the year? Or that I will be ending my post office job soon by August.  Or that I got my first, and so far, only paycheck for the year? Life is progressive but with lots of patience. Lots of obstacles.  

My kids got the chicken pox this summer and my son is growing up.  He is potty trained which means he is the occasional bedwetter. Seeing poop and vomit is an ordinary thing now.  My body aches from work and lack of sleep.  I stress with job searching and interviews. I struggle.  I do however feel blessed to have such a supportive husband.  Thanks to him i am able to make my own life choices and continue achieving success.  He took off from work to help me take care of the kids.  Thanks to him, my son is potty trained and both of our children have great food habits with an awesome routine.  My husband deserves the father of the year award. 

Did i mention he has been my mentor? He is guiding me for my future career. 

I entered IT and I am still Alive!

June 23, 2017:

I am back with more updates! First let me say that i am still sticking to the IT world! Hurrah! I have found my new field and i don't plan on fleeing this time.

So after that pre-programming course i took my first ever programming course and I was introduced to Java. The course was hardcore with lots of information to take in. One thing I have learned about Programming is first the hard stuff, then the good easy life.  So i am just learning everything which puts me in the hardest part of this subject....being familiar with IT terminology. So i took programming 1 and totally survived it! Then came programming 2 and it is kicking my butt! How? Well,  I'll start off by saying i have no book. It's based on a completely new language that i have never been formally introduced to ..C # ....and i was spending time with mom and dad back in the US for one month.  I am finally back to Stockholm and cramming for my programming 2 final.

Oh i am also working day shifts at the post office. Very tiring but at least I am getting paid. That's my summer job which means i still need a permanent job.

Oh let's write the most important part of all. I had applied for software developer school earlier this year and the selection process was nerve-wrecking. It was like applying for a career. Showing grades, cv,tests and interviews. But one thing i am satisfied about is this was the only school that asked for my original university grades. Finally a place where i can tell people i went to a good school and got educated even though i didn't finish it.  It breaks me every time I think about my incompletion. My parent's hard work's income went into paying my tuition fees.  And finally those university papers are showing some worth in this country.

So i prayed and prayed for a way to have a career very soon and this might be the answer....i got the acceptance letter yesterday! Congrats to me!!! (Since nobody knows hehe).

Ok i am going back to finish my c# project. Here is Tani, the amateur programming student saying byebye for now!

The Dilemma

July 2017:

I am having a very hard time with my life... i am at a point in my life where achievements have begun But I am suffering through some kind of acute depression.

I Finally finished programming 2. I am still working at the post Office and i even made friends, all of which are coincidentally becoming engineers of some sort.

Today was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. At this time of my life, if it was 2 years ago, I would have worked for free if I had to, just to get some experience.  But i went through a telepromter interview with the boss of an amazing international company and he told me i had gotten the job.  It was a full time job with perfect schedule Monday through Friday... a permanent job..impressive salary with benefits. But i turned It down.... because It will counterfeit with my school schedule.

I guess i need to be patient. One more year... and i Might have some possibility in working in the IT branch instead of a receptionist.

Patience is virtue....

My first glance at programming

March 2017:

Giving you an update. Nearly 3 weeks have passed and I have completed my first ever programming course. Well, it was more like a pre-programming course. Whatever you may call it, it was great stuff.  I loved lt! Why did I never study this before? My stubborn butt always chose science over maths and technology, and I don't even know why.

So my husband helped me out a lot.  He is the reason I am able to take a distance course.  He would have made a horrible teacher, but I am seeing that he is a great computer engineer. So he does help.

Yesterday i was counting down literally saying tick tock tick until the registration time for Autumn opened. I immediately applied to KTH. It won't hurt to apply right? I applied for an engineering program.  I know not many people get in but it's worth a shot. Meanwhile i will be applying for my distance program in software programmer Or tester. Anything to do with IT.

So i still didn't get a job. Whichever one i apply for gives me a reply back saying the place has been TAKEN. Bummed out. So It looks like i will be working at the postoffice again for the summer..and eventually meet more interesting characters. Hopefully I won't slam my finger through the machine again. 

Well at least my first programming course was successfully done.

Cheers.

The Secret

February 2017:

So i have to share my thoughts with somebody who has neither a mouth nor a mind.  I will only publish these posts if I succeed with my plan.  As of now this plan of mine is top secret and sounds very shocking and quite impossible but That's only what they all think. My husband is encouraging me to go on with the plan but most times he thinks I am joking around. My parents believe in me. They always have. Incredible people. By now, I wouldn't even believe in me. The promise-breaker who never finishes what she starts. So day 1 of my journey begins as a new and improved Tani.

My plan:

Taking the deepest life changer of breaths:  To change my career path.

Saying goodbye to the healthcare field, with a heavy heart.  Stepping into the mysterious world of IT.  It feels like I am on the edge of the cliff, and I have just stepped on the thread of technology.  A thin thread, that goes across another mountain.  Distinctively far, but not impossible to reach.  I must be out of my mind.

Update on my life

Time slips away from the hands like sand.  I couldn't stress on how realistic that phrase has been for me and how this simile is taking over my life month by month. 

We tend to believe that we have total control over our lives, which is a very strong and smart way to consider your life, however, there are situations that we have absolutely no self-control over.  Let me give some examples:  Planning to have another baby, a non-swede getting a very Swedish job immediately, or perhaps getting rid of that extra blob of post-pregnancy tummy skin through healthy eating and exercise.  You cannot always assume these things will happen.  Some things must be accepted the way they are.  

These are a few of my problems that I shared with you today.  I could continue ranting but I will stop for a moment and think about the positive aspects of my life. Let me give some examples:  My son has started day-care and he is almost 2.5 years old.  He is growing up way too fast and I am starting to see his own personality coming out from that baby body that I always see and will see in him.  I am done with school.  No more studying, cramming, and stressing over assignments and exams and most importantly, passing.  I have studied the things I wanted to and had to study, I do have a very supportive husband and a wonderful son, and although I might have extra saggy skin that will never go away, I still have a healthy body that works properly.

I will be turning 30 next year.  I should obviously experience both tangible and intangible alterations.

So there is no need to fear the upcomings of my life.  I am too old to be scared.  

Taking a new step in my new life

I have been living in Sweden for quite a while.  It will be 5 years in March pretty soon.  How shocking how time flies, as if it literally was yesterday that I was a newly married woman with little knowledge in a foreign language and the job market.

I unfortunately let go of one of my favorite subjects, science, only because I was not passionate enough to get through nursing school in the middle of nowhere to finally get a job in stockholm.  I needed a convinient education where it would eventually help me get a convinient job where I can work around the hours of my family life.  Yes, convinient the key word for my present situation in life.  My priority in life right now is to spend as much time as I can with my one and only son.  To spend enough time with my wonderful family, my little prince and his big guy, my first ever prince charming.  I don't ever want look back and regret.  Our time here in this world is very short.

I am now studying business administration, a very familiar subject that I have studied previously.  I am so far satisfied with the occupational line since it is a much lighter area than healthcare. It's all about being positive, keeping it clean and organized...everything.  How bad can that be? It will actually teach me some stuff about everyday stuff at home.

Speaking of which, I really need to get things organized at home!  I love our compact yet classy apartment but things get cluttered so easily, especially with a toddler on the go.  My biggest challenge is to make enough space for our clothes and keeping a spacy, clean kitchen.  I gave up on cleaning up my little prince's toys.  The second i pick them up and put them inside his little bag he takes a few right out.  Eventually he ends up putting them all back in the bag if he's happy enough.. A real prince he thinks he is i tell ya! I love that little heart of mine! He will turn 2 in 2 months, my goodness!  I wonder how he will react with a baby sibling? Hmm... 

A Summer Event Not to Miss!

Is it just me or are we just about ready to leave this nasty winter behind???  One thing everybody loves about Stockholm are those beautiful bright nights in the summer, and what better way to make this year’s summer hot than by welcoming Dosti.se  with their fabulous event right in the heart of the city? 

Who are they?

The Dosti Team organizes entertaining Desi events for busy professionals ranging from ages 20-40 living in Sweden, Denmark, and Norway. The whole point with these events is to just feel good!  It’s as simple as that.  Chill out and take time out of your busy life and meet people who share similar backgrounds as you.  After all, the word dosti (in Urdu, Hindi, Bangla, Persian, and Turkish, etc.) means friendship.  Nothing boring about it. It’s a great way of networking!

Their previous desi event took place in the city of Gothenburg, Sweden on May 28^th, 2011. 

Check out Dosti.se to know more about them as well as their upcoming events.  You can also listen to their interview done by the national radio stations P3 and P4, and even Expressen.

What’s happening this summer in Stockholm???

Desi Summer Mingle and Stand-up Comedy

The event will take place on the 1^st of June under the dazzling city’s beautiful summer night at Södra Teatern.  Fabulous view of Stockholm, great upbeat music, Desi mingle, exclusive club and bar (non-alcoholic and alcoholic) and stand-up comedy by a secret comedian well known from ‘Norra Brunn’, ‘RAW comedy’ and ‘Moa Svan med gäster’  – lots of fun, so don’t miss out! Oh yeah, tickets will be prepaid so no queue! Those who want to stay on are welcome to boogie the night away at Club Outernational – FREE entry for Desi Summer Mingle Guests!

Date:  1^st June 2013

Place:  Södra Teatern

Stockholm’s oldest theatre built in 1859, where music and entertainment from all around the  world have been appreciated for years. It has 7 stages, 5 bars, 3 terraces and 2 restaurants. 

The Desi Summer Mingle will take place on the top floor, “Sjuan”, with the highest public terrace and available bar serving both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.

Station: Slussen or Medborgarplatsen.

Time:  Early Night event -The Stand-up Comedy and Mingle:  18:00-22:00

Late Night event - The after-party at Club Outernational (free entry for Desi Summer Mingle     guests)- located a few floors down: 22:00-1:00

Dining:  Make yourselves comfortable before the event with wonderful dining Södra Teatern provided at Etablissemanget. For more information go to: http://www.sodrateatern.com/en/Eat--Drink/

Tickets:  150kr. Age 20+ with ID. Tickets are very limited! Stay up to date about the ticket release by signing up for the newsletter at www.dosti.se or joining www.facebook.com/dostisweden

Please note that NO TICKETS WILL BE AVAILABLE AT THE DOOR.

Hurry and get them now!

For more information contact: info@dosti.se

Like their Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/dostisweden

And sign up to their newsletter at www.dosti.se

Step-by-step in Sweden : 2013 update

I just wanted to remind myself about what I have planned for the future in this beautiful country, which at rare times, still seem foreign to me.  I had this simple little to-do list that I created to get myself together, but instead, it just made things worse, since I failed to do half the stuff.  I was just looking over the depressing to-do list right now.

So here was the list to survive in Sweden:

1. Get a Job - I worked during the holiday in December while I was just 4 months pregnant.  My first 4 months of pregnancy was a nightmare.  Ehh, I'm just happy I worked at the post office sorting christmas cards and frequently running to the bathroom to throw up.  It was way better than working at a restaurant.  Thank god that didn't happen!  I will be working again hopefully this December!  Can't in the summer since I will be spending lots of time with my precious little sweetheart whose supposed to be due on May 26th!  
2. Get a Profession - I plan on finishing school here, finally. I plan on being a midwife in the future and oh how challenging it has already been! And the luck that I have, the university decided very recently to convert their ENGLISH textbooks into SWEDISH books.  Doesn't that make life easier?  I find it hard to do excessive textbook-reading in swedish at times.  Just at times.  Oh, and let's not even talk about writing final papers.  
3. Get a Swedish driving license - Not until I have my baby.  I will push that off to next year.  Or maybe the end of this year.  Screw driving here.  I don't see what's so special about it here anymore.  Driving instructors just make me nervous and not make me feel like myself.  I've had pretty good experience in driving and I know pretty well that I am no where near aggressive.
4. Change my last name  - Once baby is born I guess.  

Financial situation

One thing I like about this country is that despite the high taxes and high prices for food, clothing, living, pretty much everything, it's actually hard to be poor in this country.  They will always provide you with support based on your needs.  

My long-term goal is to settle here with simplicity.  Right now, I have no income, but I hope to never have an empty bank account.  Thanks to temporary employments, and CSN money I get for education, I am not totally broke.  I have no excuse to be broke.  I should be getting "barn bidrag" once I have the baby, which is wonderful.  I find shopping for overpriced clothes and movie tickets a waste of money.  Even eating out.  I suck at being cheap though, so I limit myself from going out unless it's completely neccessary.  

I need to continue being patient, and minimize my expenses.  So it's time I start saving for those "big dreams".  Yes, it is possible to save even if you don't have income.  

Looking forward to 2013

First of all, I want to wish everybody a very happy and prosperous new year!

Last year wasn't the best year for me, but I can't complain much about it.  Although I've been through some tough times (not getting to drive in Sweden, miscarriage, not able to start school or get a job, staying in the hospital, just to name a few), I have never learned so much in my life!

I've learned to be a very patient and optimistic woman.  I've learned that one must go through disastrous events in order to grasp the true value of happiness. Even when it was about time for me to realize that I might have a hopeless dark future in this country I still had faith in God.  I prayed for patients and positivity.  I knew I had many things that I should be greatful for but I was somehow blinded by all the negativity and I kept praying for a clear bright path.  All my prayers from last year were miraculously answered.  They were all answered at the right time.  Sometimes we want things in the wrong time but we hardly think about timing when it comes to "wants".  It's all about patients!

I want to share some good news this new year.  I finally got some experience working in Sweden.  I worked some hours at the post office and loved the atmosphere.  Got paid while I sorted christmas cards and made new friends and accquaintances.  Now I can finally add on to my resume that I HAVE worked in this country.  I had also registered for nursing school for the spring semester which I have finally gotten the answer to.  My school starts in the middle of this month and it is a distance learning program which makes it so convinient for me!  Why did I choose distant-learning? One big thing I left out. My hubby and I are going to be parents! I'm 4 months pregnant!  Yes, first trimester was so horrible to me that I had to stay in the hospital several days for drops.  Yeah, it was pretty bad...I got it bad..but I made huge progress and hopefully I will get to know how the baby is doing on our ultrasound on the 14th!  So excited!  Also, we will be moving to a new place around April.  Something else to look forward to.  Oh so many changes already!  I'm both excited and nervous!

USA should learn from Sweden

This is a very insightful video I found from a family member who also lives in Stockholm.  It made me feel pretty good about living in this country.  It's going to be 3 years of my residence in Sweden next March.  I've seen enough to wholeheartedly say that you have more chance of being stress-free, happy, healthy, secure, and classy all at the same time here...once you start opening your mind, that is.

Enjoy!

Sweden: A Supermodel for America?

Step-by-step in Sweden: U-turn

Oh how I despise U-turns.  My passengers find it even more irritating and end up blaming me for making such a stubborn choice which caused me to make such a sharp U-turn in the first place.  The worst part is when you end up being in the same place, realizing you have been wasting your critical time going around circles. 

Looking at my previous post “Step-by-step in Sweden: Checklist”, it seems as if I am getting absolutely nowhere.  I had 4 goals listed: 1, get a job, 2, get educated in Swedish, 3, get a Swedish driver’s license, and 4 get a permanent residence permit.   Among the 4, I checked #4.  So that’s deleted off my list.  Now I will add a new #4, and I will get back to that later.  Next, I half-checked #1 and #2 because, apparently, they were “in progress.”  Let’s not forget #3.  Something that will remain unchecked for a while.  Almost two months have passed and I will tell you all about my sudden U-turn which caused #1 through #3 to be fully unchecked. 

Never got the job

I thought I got hired by Lycamobile after that super short interview I had with the quiet Sri Lankan guys.  They sure did give me the date to start working, so I thought everything was final.  What I didn’t know that they had to get this “approval” from Lycamobile’s main office, which is in London, to get me started as an employee.  Weird.  If they didn’t get the approval to let someone work as marketing assistant, why post the position on Arbetsförmedlingen and many other job search engines in the first place?  So as the time approached for me to start working I called to check up on the whole approval status.  Every time I called, I would get the same reply: “We’re sorry, we can’t really say much about your schedule before getting the approval.  We have to wait for the approval.  We will let you know as soon as we get it.”  So my last try was just emailing them saying whenever they get the approval to let me know.  They said ok.  They didn’t know “oh, we’re sorry, the position is no longer available,” instead they just left me hanging.  I got the point.  It wasn’t going to happen.  I was not going to get the job. 

Never got the course

Yea remember I had big plans for starting this 5-month long receptionist course packet?  Well I didn’t get in.  I was qualified.  I just never got in.  Vuxenutbildningen are in charge of handling all the paper  works.  I despise them because they are so lazy and lack service.  They are actually kind of rude.  I called them a few times to know about the status of my application.  The one that was just sitting there for months.  Instead of patiently listening to my simple problem, they interrupt me and treat me like some illiterate naïve stranger who has no idea about how the system works.  All I know is there system sucks.  I get infuriated after getting a letter by mail the day before my course starts, letting me know that I never got in because there were too many people who applied for the same course.  Even though I did apply early, and I did have all the requirements, I did not get in.  Thanks for letting me know about that the day before class starts. 

Driver’s license

I heard driving tests outside of the main city are not as tough.  Whenever I decide to take the test (which will NOT be this year) I will definitely take it outside of the city.  Meanwhile I’ll stick to walking.  It’s better for me anyway. 

My new #4  Changing my last name

I’m married but my name is still the same.  I was waiting for my permanent residency which I got.  I need to contact Skatteverket to get my last name as the same as my husband’s.  I was thinking more about the future when we have kids.  I need to do that before this year ends.

Refreshing the to-do list

1.       Get a Job

I got in contact with a job coach.  She helped me with my CV and personal letter in Swedish.  Now she’s going to help me look for jobs.  Very helpful.

Also, I have this interview on Sunday afternoon to work at the post office.  I told them I was interested in working as a seasonal employee.  Christmas is coming, who knows, maybe ill be lucky enough to finally work in this country.

2.       Get an education

I applied to a few universities to begin the nursing program starting spring semester 2013.  They are extremely selective, and they will definitely take the smart swedes here first.  I am still praying to get in.  It’s a 3-year program which I really want to do.  I’m waiting for the result.

3.       Get a Swedish driver’s license

4.       Change my last name

I've been sick lately.  That’s just the cherry on top.  No, wait.  The cherry on top is ….winter is around the corner.  Here I am sitting by the window typing, and at times, glancing outside.  The strong cold wind is separating the vibrant autumn leaves from their twigs.  Grey clouds spread like a thick blanket on top of freezing cold Sweden.  It’s 3pm, but it feels more like 7pm.  Darkness is taking over once again.  So depressing.

Pär Norling wants to ban Islam in Sweden

Who is Pär Norling?

He is the group leader of the Swedish Democratic party in Bollnäs. 

Why does he want to ban Islam?

Let’s look at this from his point of view shall we?

Comparing modern-day Sweden with the 1970s Sweden, violence has been gradually increasing.  Sweden was once a place where almost no violence existed.  Like you can literally count (1,2 ,3 wise) how many crimes occurred in a year I guess.  There weren’t so many people living here either. Now, however, we are exposed to a totally different scenario. 

Let’s say you live in this country and you are heading out to work in the morning.  Once you’re in the station you grab a copy of the Metro or let’s say “Dagens Nyheter” before getting on the train and the bold title displayed on the cover page captures your attention so you start reading about a young innocent girl who got raped, or an attempted bank-robbery that never really became successful.   In most cases, the victim is a Swede and the criminal/rapist is a “jävla invandrare” (immigrant). 

Norling entirely blames Muslims for the crimes. He even went so far to saying that even citizens who practice Islam should be deported from this country.  He thinks that Islam is ruining the Swedish society. Well Norling you overlooked the thousands of Muslims who are mastering the Swedish language, trying to fit into the Swedish culture (struggling) and becoming successful professionals trying to IMPROVE the society.  How about the hard-working Muslims that do most of the dirty work in Sweden?    

By the way, Sweden’s economy is not so great! No jobs anywhere! You expect crimes to decrease?

Supposedly “Muslims” (hypocrites) who are ruining Islamic image.

Honestly, I think Swedes here are very respectful towards women.

I’ve experienced creepy stalkers within the past years in Stockholm, and look, what a coincident, they happened to be Arabs.  One of them I knew was Muslim, apparently.  Now I think to myself, damn Arab?  Some Arabs I encounter in Stockholm are either rude, aggressive, or uncivilized pervs!  With the exception of my husband’s friends, who are ALSO arabs.  With the exception of the Arabs I met during my sfi and komvux classes.  With the exception of the MAJORITY of Arabs I met in the Masjid during Friday prayers or Eid Prayers.  They are also Arabs living in Sweden. So sincere and with good character. In fact, they are more faithful than those perverts I had encountered. 

The Real Muslim

True faithful Muslims will never commit crimes and be so heartless.  Yet Norling and many others around the world blame Islam for the violence?   A few seconds ago I was blaming Arabs for just a few bad ones?

 Arabs, Somalians, Bangladeshis, Bosnians, Pakistanis, Indians, Americans, Swedes, and so many more races…races of every kind practice Islam.  MashAllah! They don’t practice terrorism, violence, rape, domestic violence, and war.  Jihad has a completely different meaning. I’ll tell you what they DO.  They (the true believers) follow the 5 pillars of Islam:  Having faith, Praying, giving alms/supporting the needy around the world, fasting during the Holy month of Ramadan, and performing the pilgrimage to Mecca.  They Read the Quran and practice Islam not by FORCE (forcing is not permitted in Islam) but by free will.  They must repect woman! Be forgiving and humble. They must have good behavior and conduct because on the day of judgement, the first thing that will be judged is how they acted with other people in this world (muslim or not).   They believe that there is one God and he created everything. Laaa ilaha illalah. They love and respect every single one of their prophets and they always say after saying ANY prophets name “May peace and the blessings of God be upon them”. 

That’s called being a true Muslim.  Do not mix personal flaws, tradition and culture, violence,race with Islam. Islam is not a race but it is a religion of Peace.  My Islam.  That’s what the word Islam means, to surrender/submit.   

May God have mercy on us and guide us to the straight path, Ameen.

Having the common flu in Sweden - Expected words from doctors

So within the past 2 years of living in Sweden I've taken several trips to the doctor with family members and came to a clear observation of how nerve wracking it is to hear your temporary doctor say "you don't need antibiotics yet, just take Alvedon" after an irritatingly long wait-time in a virus-filled room with a hand-full of other worn out patients.  

The great side about visiting the doctor is the small 150 SEK (about $20) you have to pay, comparing to over a hundred dollars in the US.

Approximate wait-time starts from 2 to 3 hours, depending not on the number of patients, but the number of doctors available.  Finally a random doctor comes out of the door and calls out your name from the heavy stack of papers he/she holds.  All that doctor says is "hej" and leads you to his/her clinic, asks you bluntly why you are here without any warm introduction, smile, or sense of humor.  You tell them how terribly sick you are with your frequent high fevers, constant coughing and soar throat, and the next thing you know he/she gets the stethoscope out and tells you to take deep breaths.  You follow the doctor's orders and do what you are told, but when you breath in you immediately let out your painful cough and you try breathing in all over again.  Doctor hands you a piece of paper and sends you straight to the "provrum" where you wait some more until a nurse comes and does the three ordinary annoying tests on her common-cold patients: a finger blood test, throat test, and measuring your body temperature.  

While you wait and wonder where your nameless doctor disappeared off to, you cough cough cough and hope that the medicine they give you will cure you overnight and that this will be the very last time you ever went to the doctor.  You sit and think that the humane nurse lady would have made a better doctor because at least she gave you some advice and communicated well with you.

The doctor comes back and tells you that you have been MOST-LIKELY exposed to a virus.

"Keep taking Alvedon for your fever."

"But I am already doing that! It ain't helpin'!"

"Well, keep taking it."

"OK."

Next, the doctor finally gives you an antibiotic to fight your infection, in this case, "lunginflammation".  Good thing you were coughing like you were dying or else they would have NEVER given it to you!


Your oh-so-caring doctor puts your antibiotic prescription into the system and tells you to "cough under your arm" and lets you go after saying "Tack".  So you sit there nodding your head and staring, expecting a bit more advice, "Like are you kidding me.  I waited 3 hours for this.  Damn if only I had the license to write up my own meds."

I'm assuming being a doctor is a choice that can only be made by oneself, not other family members encouraging (blackmailing) you to be one, which in other words means that you must love doing the job that you chose to do.  So I'm hoping that the 8 different doctor's I have met so far don't define the rest of Sweden's doctors, because those 8 were pretty dull.  They all lacked communication skills with their patients which is actually one of the main things that needs to be focused on in order to really know what is going on inside the patient's body.

Common antibiotics for cold:
doxycyclin, kåvepenin, mollipekt 
These are only recommended medicine that might come of help.  You still need to ask your doctor first!