New baby, new semester, new things to think about...

So Isaam is no longer a newborn but I still look at him as this little miracle of my life and I guess that feeling will never change but grow as he grows and as I age as a concerned mother.

My Isaam will turn 3 months in a few days..oh how time flies! He has grown and changed so much in these 3 months. Things i've learned and never knew before becoming a mother:

-a baby has to take in so much milk.  I breastfeed fulltime and only now is the schedule becoming a bit stable, but I still have to feed almost every hour.
-a baby's skintone keeps changing so much.  One day he's pink, next day he's red, purple, yellow... you just never know how he'll look next.
-babies grow over night, especially this one!
-sometimes they sleep nonstop other times they never sleep at all...makes you wonder where they get all the energy for moving nonstop, talking or crying.
-Isaam's dimpled smile is priceless

I am still working on getting him used to the bottle.  He just hates formula milk and he despises the bottle.  He would prefer a pacifier over a hideous bottle and he hates both of them.  I don't know how he will survive the days I need to leave him to take my exams.  I have a few days to get him drinking from a bottle.  My class for the new semester starts pretty soon and I have to be there the first day.  I don't know what will happen I need all the luck there is!

Keeping my fingers crossed and trying my best to feed Isaam with a bottle a couple hours a day.

A very overdued post

I apologize I left you hanging! After having my little angel I forgot the world!  First off let me update you guys with the very late but great news.  On May 25th 9:02pm we gave birth to a beautiful healthy boy and we named him Isaam.  My husband was by my side for the entire 15 hours of pain, and together we made this baby come out...a normal birth which I was not expecting!  I seriously thought I needed medications because I was having a hard time picturing myself in labour with no painkillers and making a baby come out from a tiny me.  But that was before I knew what God gave us for inner strenghth as women, as mothers, and now it all makes sense!

I am thankful to have such a smooth pregnancy (after first trimester, that is), and having no pain at all even when my water broke unexpectedly... I will never forget the contractions I went through the entire night...the night before Isaam was born.. I hated the feeling, something that is very hard to explain.  The labour pains were unbearable but I was somehow tolerant.  To some it all up, it was an amazing experience.  At the end, it was all worth it.  I never knew were would get this emotional during the entire process.  The best part was, I had all the support from my amazing husband.  I was able to hold my baby right after he came out, and breastfed him right away.  Both my in-laws and parents were there to see their beautiful grandson.

Moments I will never forget from that day:

-When we called Södrasjukhus after I started getting the REAL contractions, and the midwives on the phone did not believe us and wanted me to stay home.
-The warm bath I took after arriving to the hospital and getting our private room.  My husband helping me the entire time.
- the 2 times I threw up from feeling so damn sick.  I was NOT expecting that.
-I thought the water breaking meant it would come out and then its over.  I did NOT know that water will continuously be coming out until the baby was born!
-How we tried all sort of things to ease the pain during my contractions and PUSHES (bouncy ball, resting elbows while standing, squatting, laying sideways (which was the final delivery position).
-I will never forget how my husband helped me.  Without him it would not have been possible!
-The time when it was a couple hours until Isaam would arrive, and the midwife made me feel my babys HEAD making its way out (thats when i started pushing with all my willpower).
-I will never forget my last pushes, the hardest and most painful, unforgettable ones, the ones wear I held and squeezed my husband tight and just had to stare into his eyes so I wont lose myself while I was screaming and breathing like a maniac.  (I sometimes wonder how he stayed so strong?)
-The moment when the midwives were taking Isaam out, the face my husband made while he was so awestruck and emotional...His voice breaking down to say that "you did it" ....priceless
-The moment right after that, when I did not see him yet, but heard him let out a small cry...tears..
-Congratulations it's a boy... when I saw my Isaam...the midwife giving me my angel to hold close to my heart...while my husband was cutting the cord.
-Isaam's first smile, first dimples, minutes after birth, him smiling while daddy held him.
-The afterbirth thing coming out from my body..yuck... thats something hard to forget.. ehh... but i was trying to picture my baby in there... he was in that thing for 9 months!

I was due a day before my due date... the day before mother's day.  Having him was the best mother's day gift in the world.  God bless....

There is so much to say about this little miracle who is growing so fast!  First baby...so many things to learn as parents! I will keep you updated this time!

Pregnancy Week 40 - can't take it anymore...

Week 40 started out with very painful contractions at 2am, and yes this time I know for sure that these are contractions!  I felt extreme pressure and pain on my lower back and abdomin, as well as my pelvic bones and I kept breathing hard trying to ease the pain... I could not lay down or sit or move it was continuous pain.  Felt like extremely horrible period cramps in a way, with added pressure.  I went to the bathroom about 5 times! I have no idea if these contractions were coming after 5minutes or not all I felt was continuous pain, sometimes the pain would intensify for a minute or two and then go back to normal (pain).  I am still in pain, except this time it's not so bad as it was last night.  I also felt something warm coming out last night...maybe it's the mucous plug, sorry TMI but what the hell I have a feeling that I will be going into labour soon! If the pain emerges again I am calling the doctor.  I am due in 5 days, my parents are arriving in stockholm tomorrow morning, and I have no idea about the rest.  I am just ready to push him out! 

Pregnancy Week 39: Contractions I guess?

Here I am at the end of week 39 and I am just sitting here going with the flow.  Everything is so calm, even my baby is calm.  I mean, he moves all day and I can definitely feel his head and stuff, but movement is just different.  He was like this even during my last midwife appointment a week and a half ago and the midwife checked on him saying everything was normal.  So this waiting process is driving me nuts! And I thought I was impatient during first trimester!  Why are things so calm?  Not that I want it to go crazy just yet... but I keep thinking about the significant quiet moment nature presents, when everything is still, the wind stops blowing, birds become silent, and suddenly that great tornado approaches, does it's job and you finally realize how important life is to you.

I have no idea what to expect! I just can't wait to hold my baby...but at the same time, I am a nervous wreck. My life is going to change I feel it.  First-time-mommy and even though I am ready as ever, I am starting to realize that things won't always be centered around ME anymore.  I won't let it happen.  Motherhood is taking over me and it's a wonderful feeling already.

What's going on with my body...

All I hear pregnant women say is they get early contractions with uneven intervals and I have no idea what they talk about.  How am I supposed to know what a contraction feels like??? I feel stupid even asking myself this.  I know all women just kinda know...just like how they knew the time they had their first period? (and I thought I was dieing).

For the past 3 days I've been having light menstrual-like cramps in the morning.  It would start around the same time at 6 or 7am and go away after half an hour.  It just comes and goes and no it does not come every 5 minutes.  So I guess this is what you call early contractions?  A sign that labour is close... I'm calm...how am I calm????? Will I stay calm when it's actually TIME? I have no idea...   

Pregnancy Week 38 - waiting begins....

This week I had a hard time moving around and especially getting up after sitting for a long period of time.  It's a pain doing the dishes or cooking with a bump that sticks so far out.  Going down a hill can even be a bit risky.  I think I felt a few minor contractions this week.  Nothing big.

Baby is lower so I don't have heartburn anymore and I can finally breath.  Aside from having a hard time changing sides, I sleep better.

In school we have just started our new subject on human anatomy and physiology.  Basically it's all review for me, accept I have to swedify my brain and substitute some words here and there.  Happy I took latin in college.  Sure is coming to use now.

I'm loving our new apartment.  I try to keep it squeaky clean and fresh all the time.  Still need to get used to the quiet atmosphere with just me and hubby in the house.  But it won't be so quiet soon enough...baby's on the way!

So much happening next week! I have my last appointment with my midwife.  A practical the day after, and the day after that my parents will be coming to Sweden! I am so excited!

I gained a total of 12 kg and I didn't have to buy any maternity clothes.  No more space for clothes in the house!  I've been eating everything.  My appetite just keeps increasing, I wonder what will happen after birth.

My little baby can't jump around much since he has taken up all the space in my little womb.  He moves around all day with his tiny little legs.  I feel him and he never makes me feel uncomfortable.  I don't mind if he decides to stay another 2 weeks.  As long as he's fine...

Pregnancy Week 37: What's in a name...

A lot happened this week.  First off, I had a written exam which I thought was one of the hardest exams I've ever taken for this semester.  I suck at written tests in english so I don't even know what I did last thursday afternoon, scribbling page after page in swedish.  I'm worried.  Then I was busy with packing and unpacking, moving things to the new apartment.  At this point, getting up after sitting for just 5 minutes feels tiring let alone cleaning up the apartment.  It takes time to get adjusted to a new place and actually making it a home.  Shopping for the new home will never end.  There are so many small things we still need.  The main stuff is over with, now it's all about decorating.  We finally invited hubby's entire family to the new place and took a short walk around the area over the weekend. Now let's talk about the new family member we are all waiting for patiently.

Dear Baby,

Now that you are considered full-term, ready to make your entrance into this world, mommy has decided to give you your name.  We have been thinking and thinking for the name that would suit you best for the past 6 months but it's so hard you know.  If there's something I like, dad doesn't, and vice versa.  This name is something everybody seems to agree with, and most importantly, it feels like it's best suited for you.

The name is of Arabic origin, and it's basic meaning is "safegaurd", "pledge", "protecting" which all link to a meaningful individual who carry the qualities of honesty, bravery, and modesty.  I pray that you grow up to be a trustworthy person who will always offer protection.  A person who can handle himself and others with care.  And ofcourse, I don't want anybody screwing with your name.  So I tried to find a simple yet meaningful name for you in which everybody in the world will be able to pronounce.  So here it is...

Isaam.  Isaam Feroz. Hopefully we will finally get to hold you in 3 weeks.  Mommy is very close to losing patience! My dear Isaam.  See you soon...InshaaAllah.